Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] You're listening to the Poist Powerhouse podcast. My name is Doctor Sita Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness. I used to be caught up in the hustle hard mentality, until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important, actually turned out to be the secret sauce I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact, not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic, you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify. This is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Welcome back for another episode of the Poist Powerhouse podcast. My name is Doctor Sita Hood, vision architect and licensed therapist. What's in your mug today? What's in your mug today? What's in your mug today, girl? Okay. What's in my mug is a vanilla. Vanilla latte, of course, from Nespresso. Like. Like what? Your mama, not me. Yes.
[00:01:54] All right. That's what's in my mug. Clearly, I am feeling refreshed this week. And one thing that I continuously say on this podcast is that I promise an automatic upgrade is your routines keep you sane. Literally, if it was not for my routines, I would not be able to get back on track after life hits. Because I know maybe from observation, it might seem like life don't be life in, but it doodle.
[00:02:28] It be life and on me the same way it be life and all y'all, you know, it's just that my routines are the thing that keep me settled and finding that optimal level of functioning. I'm also growing to understand exactly what I need in each one of these seasons, and that takes paying careful attention to how you are feeling.
[00:02:54] And sometimes. Sometimes you like to tuck your feelings in. You like to avoid. You like to avoid your feelings. But you know I'm saying this from a place of love, right? Like, we wouldn't be talking about it if we didn't have to talk about it. But speaking of paying attention to how you're feeling, that requires inner work. And before you go getting the groaning and questioning if I'm about to go all extra on you. I promise I'm not. But at the same time, we tell the truth in these streets over here, right? I don't know what they do over there or over there, but over here, we tell the truth in love, all right? And I think the reason that people tend to groan is because there's an automatic assumption that inner work means that you gotta go on some deep spiritual journey, right? And it can mean that, and it can look like that. But the truth is, inner work is multifaceted. It is emotional. It is spiritual. It is psychological work that you do to heal. And I wanna be clear, crystal clear. I am not referring to shadow work or eastern mysticism. We talking about biblical things, okay? Biblical things that Jesus taught. And y'all know everything out here in this world and came from the Bible, right? Okay. Okay. I don't got time to argue today, honey. If you disagree, you could keep it pushing or, you know, go argue with your mama. Cause it ain't gonna be over here. Just. Just again, for clarity sake. The inner work that we're talking about is all based on biblical principles that Jesus taught. Anyway, I know some of y'all listening to this episode. You need tangible signs or facts that slap you in the face and say, hey, it's time to do some inner work. Because sometimes y'all be looking for signs. It's like, I'm not the problem. I'm not the problem. I'm not the problem until you drive past the sign that says, you are the problem. Okay? So this episode, hopefully, if you need to do some inner work, will serve as your sign. Okay?
[00:05:10] Hey. Hey. Aren't you tired of running around like a chicken with your head cut off? How many times have you promised to do better with your wellness routines? Only to let life get on top of you again. I want to invite you to pause and pour by downloading my app, the lavish haven, your sanctuary for cultivating daily wellness. It's completely free to use. You'll start with our pause and pour quiz and then access our signature daily and weekly wellness trackers, mood playlists, elevated emotions, collections, scripture based guided audios, and so much more. Hit the link below to start today.
[00:05:53] So let's talk about the six signs that you need to do some inner work. If you have frequent emotional breakdowns and it feels like your world is literally falling apart or like you are breaking, it is definitely time to do some inner work to figure out what the heck is going on. Because emotional breakdowns are very similar to the check engine light that comes on when you drive your car. You know, you can still drive the car, but the car is like giving you a sign that you need to go see a specialist and figure out a deeper rooted problem so you can keep driving your car. And I know some of us are okay continuing to drive without getting that check engine light checked out, but like if you keep doing it, then you gonna damage your car's engine. So I don't know who need to hear this, but you need to go get an oil change, you need to go get that car maintained. You need to figure out why that check engine light is on, okay? Both metaphorically and you know, in real life, your car is functional now. You are functional now. But if you don't fix the underlying issue, then the other parts of the car start to be impacted. That's why it feels like your whole world is falling apart, because there are inner work issues that need to be resolved and it's starting to tap into other parts. The second thing is you get caught up in the same patterns. You know, you got some inner work to do. If you find yourself in the same patterns in the same cycles, you can't figure out how to stop the same irritating cycle, then it's time to do some inner work. Running around in circles and feeling like you always hitting a brick wall is like continuing in a maze. You keep going down that same path and you can see it's a brick wall right there. But you like, well, maybe I missed something over there. Maybe I need to go back up against the wall again and look at it differently. And the truth is, there's always a way out. But first you have to pause or be still long enough to use your brain to develop the right strategy to get you out of the same cycle. And you cannot use your brain if you constantly moving and you overwhelmed with the wall in front of you. Cause I know I hear some of y'all like, yeah, okay, cool, I did miss something. Let me go back and check. Cute. But you're not going to figure out how to get out of there unless you pause, right? Give yourself permission to pause and allow God to ignite the creativity in you so that you can see the pattern or the cycle that you keep getting stuck in. And eventually you will figure out the solution. And I want to be clear. Even if you hire somebody to help you or somebody else points out the pattern in your life because you talk to them about it, it is very much still you solving the problem because it was you who sought out a solution or a program to help you. Okay, sign number three that you need to do some inner work. If you've been experiencing fears with moving forward in life or with taking big risks or big steps, and you can't explain it, like, if somebody's like, well, what are you afraid of? You say, I don't know, and you really aren't coming up against nothing. You guessed it. It is time to do some inner work. This is often rooted in unresolved trauma or unresolved emotional conflict that is just below the surface, which is why you're having a hard time putting language to it. For example, let's say that you worked in a toxic work environment and you had no idea what work trauma was or. Or that anything connected with the trauma that you experienced at work was even a legitimate fear. You cannot explain or you feel like you have no basis on why these incidents at work actually triggered you so much, but you know that they wounded you so deeply that you can't talk about it and you actually don't know what to do to move forward.
[00:10:17] While the things that happened probably absolutely 1000% suck, and I'm so sorry that that happened to you, it was likely just a trigger, right? Not saying it was right, but it was a trigger. Meaning simply the tip of the iceberg for things that you need to unpack. So if that is happening and you have unexplained fears, you definitely need to do some inner work. Sign number four. Feeling emotionally disconnected from yourself, you got some inner work to do. Have you ever talked to one of your friends who says she's just functioning on autopilot? If you have, or if you've been this woman, it's usually linked to needs that you had as a child not being met. So you are struggling to stay fully present and engaged when life gets overwhelming and your typical coping skills are either non existent or they need to be reevaluated because they are currently ineffective in this season and seasons of transition is generally a good idea to do some inner work and to reevaluate your coping skills, because it can feel like complete and total chaos to be going through transitions and you're trying to do the things that generally seem to work for you, but because there's so much piled on you, those simple things are not necessarily working. So you might have to compound what you do or reach out for more support from somebody. Sign number five. If you notice yourself getting a little extra clingy in your relationships.
[00:12:02] Yeah, boo boo kitty. It's time for some inner work. And this particular fear can be based on your past situations. Or you could be feeling triggered by people's responses, or because your current circumstances trigger the same emotions that you felt the last time you were rejected or abandoned. When you do the inner work in this area, then you're learning how to build secure attachments and how to rely on the wisdom that God gave you and trusting that he will lead you. And the final thing that we'll talk about today, because there are so many signs, but this is just six hot, quick ones that tend to impact ambitious women. The 6th one, if you're struggling to express your emotions, it is time to do some inner work. In intake sessions, many of my clients that I talk to, they struggle with putting words to their feelings. And if I get somebody that typically repeats I don't know, I don't know, at least five times, because you'd be surprised how often people say, I don't know.
[00:13:12] But if I get somebody that repeats I don't know, at least five times, I say to them, I don't know is not allowed in this space because I don't know is typically used as a filler word when we think that somebody is trying to rush us. And therapy offers people the safe space and the time to sit and process their thoughts. And so often when I verbalize that, they have the permission to pause and think, and it's not awkward. This is your space. They come up with an answer. Most of the time, we know what we know. We are just a little bit anxious about producing an answer right away, and I do that in my friendships, too. You have permission to take your time and think about what the answer is. We don't have to rush to some conclusion, because deep down inside, we do know why. Let's talk about four types of inner work. Now that we've got the signs down pat. Now, you could freely look these things up for yourself, but I'm just going to give you again, four different types that you should definitely be doing right now if you want to kick off the next year properly. Emotional response awareness. Emotional response awareness. Okay. Emotional response awareness is observing your own personal reactions so that you can understand the triggers to your emotions. If you remember nothing else from this episode, I would love for you to remember that awareness is the very first step to changing any sort of behavior. So when you're practicing emotional response awareness, you are improving your emotional intelligence and you're getting better at regulating your emotions. Because if you are aware of those emotions, if you're aware of those triggers and the links, then we can go on to learning how to regulate them, regulate our emotions. That is the second thing is confession. Confession. Y'all remember that episode of Game of Thrones when Cersei little ball here, but finally was getting what she deserved? Confess. Confess, confess. I think that's how we feel. Like people are looking at us when it's confession time. And in reality, some people are looking at you like that, but those not your people. So we don't got to pay attention to them. Like, we just need to pay attention to the people that are giving us a safe space. And the inner work that christians should be practicing daily is confession.
[00:15:55] I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. It's like a cuss word for some folks. I know. But we have to confess our sins so that we can be forgiven. Confession creates space for God to work on your behalf and for him to shed some light on how things can get better. Like, as long as you think you got this under control, like, why would he think he needs to intervene? Why would he offer you something you're not going to listen to? No. Confession puts our heart in the right place. And confession involves surrendering, which I know is like another cuss word, but it's not.
[00:16:39] Confession involves surrendering to the process and deciding, deciding, active decision making to be fully present in the process. As hard as it is, and as hard as it is, when we do this, we get clarity on the situation as a whole, and it gives us room to develop grace for other people that are involved in the situation.
[00:17:06] Inner work number three, somatic awareness. Have you ever had somebody say, sit up straight or, girl, relax your shoulders, and then when they say that, that's when you realize that your shoulders have been really tense and you weren't actually sitting up as straight as you could. Our bodies are always giving us physical cues to how we're feeling. So another type of inner work is somatic awareness. Again, there's that awareness piece, because if we're aware of it, we can change it. And so somatic awareness is essentially tapping into our physical sensations and the signals that our bodies are trying to give us. A very simple example of this is noticing your body instantly tenses up when somebody enters the room, okay? Or a more positive example of this is noticing how relaxed you feel when you finally slump down in your friend's couch because it's ladies night and you finally get to see your home girls. After a long, stressful week, you see how our bodies alert us. So, practicing somatic awareness helps us to recognize our physical cues before an issue escalates if you can tap into your body. And it's good to practice emotional response awareness and also somatic awareness because some people will be able to tap into their emotions faster than their body, and some people can tap into the body faster than they can tap into the emotions. And so either one of those cues, paying attention to either one of them is going to help you out. Okay. The last one that we'll talk about today is hold your wig, lay down your edges. But it's forgiveness and reconciliation. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. I know this one is hard. I get it, I get it, I get it. I know it is. But without forgiveness and releasing people from past hurt, we're actually damaging our own futures. How? Well, for starters, you are more likely to carry around preconceived notions and spaces when you finally get to what you've been praying for. But you start to speak against what God sent based on the preconceived notions because you got unforgiveness in your heart.
[00:19:37] Here's what I mean. You've been praying for godly friends, right? And you start a new job or a new position on your job, and three women are super kind and loving and inviting to you. And you assume that just because they are so nice, they actually trying to sabotage your progress for the position that you're trying to get or the position that you just started. They want to make you look bad in this position. And not only that, you real suspicious when they keep on inviting you to join a group, right? And so you reject their proposals and their invitations and you say they probably just trying to suck information out of me. And you speak those words out of your mouth based on your preconceived notion. So then when things appear to go a particular way, you confirm your suspicions. And for those that are listening, yes, I'm doing air quotes. You confirm quotation mark your suspicions when in reality they maybe was just trying to put you on game about somebody in the leadership department that you trying to integrate into. You trying to get in that department, you trying to be with the inner circle. They trying to tell you shorty over there actually be on some mess and you can't see clearly what's what because you have blinders on after refusing to forgive somebody, refuse to reconcile, and refuse to bring yourself peace in that area. Here's a thing that you might have been told before, and I'm going to say it again, because sometimes we hear stuff repeatedly, but it's not until it comes a particular way. Or in a particular season of life that it hits. Forgiveness is for you, your heart, your motives, your vision, your willingness to move forward, and you're hindering your own growth when you make up your mind that you're not going to forgive somebody. Okay, before we wrap up this podcast, I want to share a few notes about inner work. There is a distinction that needs to be made between self care or wellness and inner work. Daily wellness supports your relaxation and your well being, but inner work goes deeper into unlearning your biases, learning new perspectives and being intentional about fostering your own personal growth in relationships, in your career and every facet of your life. Also as a poise powerhouse, which is you, boo. That's you.
[00:22:18] I don't even have to tell you how crucial it is for inner work to take place on your leadership journey. Doing this inner work frees up space for your creativity, which makes you an innovative leader. And it's also going to help you learn to express yourself and enhance your mental clarity and your ability to make decisions and finally understand. This inner work requires time and dedication to the process. It is not a one and done and there's no way around that. If you want the end goal, you will have to work for it, baby. You won't have to put in the work. You're going to have to unpack all that stuff to get to what you need to get to. It's a long term investment and the dividends are paid in your personal growth journey. So the good news is doing this inner work means that you are less likely to be emotionally reactive and it should also help to improve your sense of calm.
[00:23:31] It's time to talk about what I've been loving. Product recommendations, shout outs to family and friends, and overall gratitude. Let's get into it.
[00:23:45] Welcome back to another what I've been loving this week. I have been loving valuable relationships in my life. I'm gonna keep it a Honda with you. It's my people for me. It's the squad for me. Literally, when you are feeling down and you feel like you don't got that much willpower to encourage yourself or to speak life over yourself, this is when having a squad matters. Because you can call them and talk about it, or you can call them and just say, girl, I just need to talk to you today. I just. I just need to be uplifted today. So shout out to you, my squad members, and you already know who you are. It don't even got to be said. I'm not going to go down a list because then if I forget somebody, somebody going to be in their feelings. And I care about all of y'all. And I love all of y'all. So we not even going to do that. Okay. If you enjoyed today's episode, share the love, share with your mama, share with your auntie, share with your best friend, and then head on over to Apple podcast and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you today. I'll see you on these social media streets. Bye.
