Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] You're listening to the Poist Powerhouse podcast. My name is Doctor Sita Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness. I used to be caught up in the hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important, actually turned out to be the secret sauce. I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact, not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify. This is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Welcome back to another episode of the Poised Powerhouse podcast. I am your host, Doctor Sita Hood, vision architect and licensed therapist. What is in your mug today? Well, what's in my mug is already gone. Okay?
[00:01:41] But we've still been tapping into the pumpkin iced coffee over round these parts. But it is finished. How I'm feeling?
[00:01:53] Honestly, child, it's giving agitation this week. Like, it's really giving agitation.
[00:01:59] I thought we could be honest. I thought we could be honest.
[00:02:03] Listen, it's something that is so uncomfortable about shifting from one season to the next. Like, it's beautiful yet chaotic all at once. And so I am feeling the weight of that and I'm feeling agitated. And that means that I have to be more attuned to my emotions so I could fix my attitude or tailor my responses honestly to reflect the love of God and not the knuck if you buck theme song that be going in my head. Okay. I thought we was being real. I thought we was being real.
[00:02:45] I want to start this episode off by telling you a little story. So if you need to pause me right quick and go get you a cup of tea or a cup of coffee, go ahead and do that. Aight, suga, let's dive into the story. We got Sarah. Sarah is a top tier marketing executive in a leading tech firm. Listen, she not just good at her job, she is a powerhouse.
[00:03:12] One day, let's just say, a golden opportunity lands on Sarah's desk, a project that is literally so monumental that it could legit revolutionize her company. She is absolutely ecstatic for all of the first five minutes. And then her overthinking kicks in. And if we're being real, it's like a literal switch flips in her mind without her knowledge or her control, and she starts to dissect every tiny possible outcome of the project. Sleepless nights become her new norm as she starts to weigh the risks of taking this on, the potential for failure and what it can mean for her reputation if she fails, what her colleagues will think about her if it's not absolutely perfect, or if she doesn't have every single micro detail hashed out when she presents it. And she just. She going through the cycle. I know you know what I'm talking about. As a result of her overthinking, she starts to question her ability to lead this project, question whether she could really get this project off the ground despite her banging track record. That is literally screaming, seriously, why are you playing in my face? You got this. But the truth is, it's not just impacting her work. Her personal life starts to suffer, too, because she starts to think about the way that this project would impact her personal life. She start worrying about her marriage, about the precious time that this project is going to take away. What is it going to snatch from her beloved movie nights with her husband? She start thinking about how the heck she gonna manage all the household responsibilities. She starts stressing about potentially having to hire a cleaning company and when, and she gonna have time to look through all the paperwork by that, because all the hours that she's gonna be putting in this project. So in reality, her overthinking starts to also seep into her work, and she's not as effective. Now she's spending hours sweating the small stuff, which causes major delays on projects that she's already working on. And this is still her regular work. She ain't even started the project yet. This is just her anxiety about starting the project. And her team is starting to notice that she's become more indecisive, and she needs constant reassurance in ways that she thinks are small and not noticeable, because she really, you know, trying to hide the fact that she's overthinking about this, the fact that she's anxious about this. But ultimately, it starts to affect team morale, because she's trying to hide the fact that she's overthinking. It comes across as a lack of trust to her team. And all of this is happening despite her husband, her friends, her mom, all her cheering squad telling her, babe, listen, you got this and her team's history of absolutely unwavering confidence, without a shadow of a doubt, knowing that's who they gonna call to fix the problem in her. Sarah's overthinking convinces her she cannot do this project. She is not the right person for the job. So she tells herself that after all of that overanalyzing, the risks are too high. She ain't ready. She ain't ready. Even though everything else points to the contrary, and it's just the fear of the unknown.
[00:07:14] She tells herself she's going to pass on this. And Sarah's story is a classic example of how overthinking can hinder your success and your growth. Even with all her skills, all her receipts, all her accomplishments, all her acknowledgments, all her awards and encouragement from her support team, her tendency to overthink made her pass on a life changing opportunity that could have catapulted her career to the next level. Now, I'm not trying to be all up in your business, but does this sound like you?
[00:07:58] Do you give in to overthinking? Do you let imposter syndrome win? If so, today's episode is for you.
[00:08:11] Hey. Hey. Aren't you tired of running around like a chicken with your head cut off? How many times have you promised to do better with your wellness routines? Only to let life get on top of you again. I want to invite you to pause and pour by downloading my app, the lavish haven, your sanctuary for cultivating daily wellness. It's completely free to use. You'll start with our pause and pour quiz, and then access our signature daily and weekly wellness trackers, mood playlists, elevated emotions, collections, scripture based guided audios, and so much more. Hit the link below. To start today, let's talk about some possible causes and effects of overthinking. So, possible causes of overthinking, anxiety and stress. When we are anxious or stressed, our minds start to race with thoughts, and those thoughts lead to overthinking. This is part of our body's natural response to perceived threats or challenges. Another reason this could happen is perfectionism.
[00:09:22] Perfection. Perfectionism. Trying to get it perfect. Trying to get it perfect.
[00:09:29] And I'm not trying to be up in your business, but I know a lot of. A lot of powerhouses. We struggle with perfection. And even I sometimes have to find myself, okay, this is good enough. It's good enough. It's good enough to launch women who strive for perfection in everything they do without a shadow of a doubt. Overthink they might constantly worry about whether they are making a mistake or not meeting their own high standards. Because the truth is, most of the time, the standard is higher than those that are around you than most people that are around you. It's your own personal thing, your own personal struggle internally. Another reason is fear of the unknown. The uncertainty about the future definitely can lead to overthinking, and you might find yourself trying to predict every possible outcome. But what if this happens? What if that happens? What about this? What about this? What if this goes wrong? What if that goes wrong just so you could try to feel more in control?
[00:10:29] Spoiler alert, it never works. You're not in control of any part of this process. No part of it. The only thing you can control is how you respond to life as it's happening to you. Past trauma or negative experiences can also contribute to overthinking. If you have had negative experiences in the past, you might overthink to try to avoid repeating some of those same experiences. And this could lead to a pattern of overanalyzing every situation that feels like that old situation. So even if it's not the same situation, but it brings up very similar emotions in you, you get to overthinking. That brain gets a going right. Women with low self esteem often second guess themselves and overthink their decisions because they just aren't that confident in their abilities. And then another reason could be depression. Overthinking can be a symptom of depression. And women with depression tend to dwell on negative thoughts or experiences longer. Now, each one of these on their own can lead to overthinking. But, baby, if you got all of them, or if you got a mix of some of them, then you're probably struggling with overthinking. And let me tell you now that we know the cause, the effects of being stuck in cycles of overthinking. Because I hear women say all the time, oh, I get stuck in my head, oh, I overanalyze. I overthink quite often. And you express a desire to move out of the stage of overthinking, but in reality, you take very little steps to actually do that. I'm going to tell you what it's costing you to stay in patterns of overthinking, decision paralysis. And I know you already knew that, and I know that you heard this term before, but let me reiterate it. Overthinking can lead to analysis paralysis, where the fear of making the wrong decision leads to you making no decision at all. Which is why we have to be okay with good enough when we're launching good enough. We have to give ourselves that permission to reiterate, to grow, to expand. When I was explaining this concept to somebody, I'm like, do y'all remember the first phones?
[00:12:53] I don't know what the very first phone looks like, but I know when I was a kid, the dial phone that had to go around, and then the phone where we push the buttons, and then the cordless phone, and then the Nokia phone with the green screen, and now we got phones where we can video call. Those are iterations of things, right? The very first phone was an amazing invention. That very first version was absolutely amazing. But there was space to grow that did what? Generated profit on the way. So as we continue to evolve, there's more money in that, there's new discoveries in that. So it's okay. You don't have to have a fear about making decisions. Overthinking also can lead to self doubt or confidence issues, because for some women, overthinking involves doubting their own abilities and their ability to make sound decisions. And over time, this can erode your self confidence, which is absolutely crucial for you to be able to show up and lead effectively. Then you add gender on top of that. The fact that we're women who face societal pressures and stereotypes, questioning our leadership abilities, and we are even more susceptible to self doubt and a lack of confidence. So staying in these cycles leads to that. It also leads to high levels of stress and eventually burnout. And burnout, as we know, impacts your well being and your professional performance.
[00:14:34] It's your health and is how you show up and the service that you offer to clients and the feeling that they get from you, the tone. So burnout and overthinking could actually prevent you from getting that promotion, prevent you from finding more clients for your business. It also impedes your ability to take risks. Because overthinking involves focusing so much on what could go wrong, it can deter you from taking necessary risks. Everything in life worth having comes with a risk, and you cannot be a good leader if you are afraid to take risks.
[00:15:23] Leadership is about taking calculated risks and being overly cautious.
[00:15:30] It just ain't going to work. That's one way to hinder your growth, but also your ability to be innovative. You can't be innovative. You can't lead an innovative team if you're too afraid to take a risk. Time management issues.
[00:15:47] If we keep it at a butt, if we keep it at a hundo. Now, you know, overthinking can be time consuming. How much time have you wasted overthinking what it would take to get something done as opposed to actually doing it. Like, if we weigh how long it took to do it versus how long I thought about doing it. Uh huh.
[00:16:09] I know your secret, girl. I know about that laundry. Okay, moving on, moving on, moving on.
[00:16:16] Leaders need to manage their time effectively. And if you are spending too much time dwelling on decisions, it can detract from other important tasks. So we have to be mindful of that. Communication issues. That is the final impact of overthinking. And it's a sneaky one that we do not often pay attention to. And overthinking can lead to either a lack of communication because you're not clear on how you feel and what you think, or it can lead to overcomplicating your communication. If we overcomplicate things, then we're over communicating, and we're not communicating as clearly and effectively as we could be. And as a leader, it's important that you conveyed your ideas, your directives, your thought processes, your values, very clearly and concise. Otherwise, when you have a team and your team doesn't carry out what you wanted them to carry out, you can only blame yourself because you didn't communicate it clearly. So, as you can see, there are negative impacts to overthinking. And this cycle of overthinking is more harmful than what it might look like at first glance. This is why it's important to manage it. All right, let's talk about a few techniques that ambitious female CEO's use to overcome overthinking. First, they calibrate their thought processes. Okay. And I know we already know what calibrate means, but, you know, I love words. So we gonna define it. To calibrate means to adjust or to account for external factors to carefully assess, set, or adjust. So we stop the cycle of overthinking by pausing to calibrate, pausing to assess, pausing to adjust your thought process around the situation. What this means as a leader is you cannot be married to one way of thinking. Truthfully, you got the position that you're in because you thought outside the box, because you are unique, because, you know, you presented a unique perspective. And that can't stop when you get into the leadership role. You are a more effective leader when you have the ability to calibrate or recalibrate your thinking based on the context of a situation. Because, simply put, it doesn't matter what the manual says. It doesn't matter what the training says. All situations don't require the same response, the same intervention. And honestly, you don't even have the ability to give the same capacity for every situation. Some seasons in life you're going to have higher capacity and you're going to be more involved in some things than other seasons of life. Some seasons are going to require that you lean heavier on your squad, but you have to have the ability to calibrate your thoughts to understand what season you're in. Not go into cycles of overthinking or I'm failing at this, I'm blah, blah, blah. No, no, no. We just need to call in some reinforcements. And that takes a thought recalibration to know how do I handle this situation? Another thing ambitious female CEO's do is they regularly engage in physical activity. Now, I know, I know. You're probably like doctor hood, come on, girl, be for real. You're just trying to get us to work out.
[00:19:55] How does this relate to overthinking? Well, sugar, I tell you, I'm just so happy that you asked.
[00:20:02] Let me know.
[00:20:04] Let me know if this ever happened to you or if this sounds familiar. You're frustrated and you are continuously thinking about all sorts of scenarios in your head. And then you go hard in a workout just because it's what you had planned. And in that workout, you have to fully engage with it in order to complete it. And you ain't thinking about what you was thinking about before, right? Because let me tell you something, by the end of that workout, you are too physically exhausted to go through more pointless scenarios. There's literally physical energy that is involved in overthinking and you exert all that energy into finishing the workout. Your stress is gone because you released it physically. The mental chatter stopped because you was worried about a proper landing on those box jumps or holding your core really tight so your back don't hurt on them deadlifts. That's what you was worried about and the music was playing and you were in the zone. So regular physical exercise, physical movement is another way to stop overthinking, redefining stress points. That is another thing that ambitious CEO's do. Overthinking is often a symptom of stress. So we reduce the overthinking by handling the stress. Ambitious CEO's, no, ain't no way to avoid stress. Honey, you cannot flat out just dodge stress. So they do the next best thing. They plan for it. The first step of planning for it is to identify where the stress points are in their life and in their workflow. So they take note of their own patterns, which requires self awareness I know, I know. You knew I was going to say self awareness, and we said it at the same time.
[00:22:07] Self awareness. And that goes back to last week's episode on doing the inner work so that you are more self aware. They also plan at the heaviest parts of their workflow, and that allows them to develop specific ways to redefine the stressors. What I mean by redefine stress is to take a different approach. Streamline processes to eliminate as much stress as possible and then create a very specific plan for managing the stress when it comes up. This could look like simply decluttering your office because you got them papers on there that you were supposed to file away two weeks ago. But I'm out of your business. Okay.
[00:22:49] And you're wondering why you're having a hard time jumping into work. It's because you can never find what you need to get started. And why can't you find what you need? Because your office is a mess and now you're hunting through the things to find what you need, which takes up more time and it makes you less efficient. Another example, let's say the heaviest part of your day is morning drop off, like me dropping off them kids, and then evening pickup. It's a lot of moving parts to the process. And so how do we streamline our workflow to eliminate the overthinking, to eliminate the stress, to eliminate anxiety and everything else and make our processes more efficient. It could be something as simple as doing more preparation the night before instead of waiting till the morning. That's it. Heading back to our thoughts on perfection. They overcome overthinking by embracing good enough over perfection. The reason that you're caught up in overthinking is because you're trying to come up with something perfect and successful. CEO's know that good enough again is a starting point. There's always room to grow. But the first iteration of a thing is better than nothing at all. Again, I give you the cell phone. The cell phone, honey, it wasn't a cell phone first of all. It was just a phone to begin with. Then we got cell phones. So the first iteration is better than nothing at all. And overthinking keeps you in a state of paralysis. But embracing good enough gives you freedom to move forward. And you can always refine the process later. This is also where we embrace the process of failing forward so that we can refine in our process. Because the thing is, we can't feel forward if we never even took the leap. Okay, like, come on, that don't even make sense. And now I want to introduce you to the savvy shift formula to overhaul your overthinking. Okay, I'm super excited. It's a simple three step formula that should be pretty easy for you to remember in the moment after you've practiced implementing it a couple of times. All right, here we go. Step one, spot the drama. Honey, you gotta admit when you are making a mountain out of a molehill, okay? Recognize when you are caught up in overthinking and own it. Own it. It's the first step to getting over it. How to do it in real time. Practice becoming more aware of your thought life. Start by paying attention to how you speak to yourself without judging yourself. And when you notice that you're stuck on a situation or a thought, acknowledge it again. The very first step. So we spot the drama, honey. Second, we snap out of it. Don't you get lost in that pretty little head of yours, honey. Because them edges don't get messed up from all the sweat and overthinking and the anxiety.
[00:25:57] Do a quick reality check. Take a deep breath. Touch something on your desk. Smell a flower, take a walk, go get some water. Whatever it takes to bring you out of your head and back to the present moment. How to do it in real time. Essentially, you are going to use your preferred grounding technique to get out of your head and into the present moment, not dwelling on a shoulda, woulda, coulda, or the what ifs of a scenario. Be here and now accepting what is actually happening. And you can engage your senses in other things. It's time to talk about what I've been loving. Product recommendations, shout outs to family and friends, and overall gratitude. Let's get into it. Cut the soap opera. Okay? Just cut it. Just cut it. Okay. We don't got to watch that. There's other stuff that's on. It's time to change the channel and focus on something that is actually worth your time and your energy. How to do it in real time? Shift your focus to something that requires your full focus and attention. Depending on where you are. This could be a hobby or it could be a different work project. So for me, the top two distraction techniques to stop overthinking are listening to music or reading a book. So doing those things helps me to regulate my emotions and to distract me until I'm grounded enough to think logically about the issue. So again, our savvy shift formula, so that you are no longer overthinking. Spot the drama. We gotta be real about when we making a mountain out of a molehill. Snap out of it. Don't get lost in that pretty little head of yours. And switch the channel. Cut the soap opera, boo. Okay, okay, just let's cut it. Let me know what you think of this formula down below.
[00:28:11] Welcome back for another what I've been loving. I have been loving the cozy fall Peyton blanket from gold mine and Coco. Shout out to Felicia, what's up, girl? I've also been loving my Victoria's Secret pink blankethe these are built in comfort measures for me, which, again, aid me in regulating my emotions and my thinking when it comes to overanalyzing or getting caught up in cycles of overthinking. If you enjoyed today's episode, share the love, share with your mama, share with your auntie, share it with your best friend, then head on over to Apple podcast and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you today. I'll see you on these social media streets. Bye.
