Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: You're listening to the Poised Powerhouse Podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness.
[00:00:20] Speaker A: I used to be caught up in.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: The hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important actually turned out to be the secret software boss I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment.
[00:00:52] Speaker A: Are all topics we'll discuss here.
[00:00:55] Speaker B: Think of this podcast as that Sunday.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: Brunch with your girls that feels so.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Therapeutic you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back for another episode of the Poist Powerhouse podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood, vision architect, licensed therapist, executive leadership consultant, and your personal reminder that peace is not a luxury. Boo Boo. It's a lifestyle. And I want to welcome you back for another segment of Sips and Stillness. Because I know y' all miss me asking you what's in your mug. Well, today, because I'm recording this episode in the afternoon. We just got some good old aqua, honey. And because one thing we're gonna do, two things for certain. We're going to drink our water and what?
Mind our business.
Okay.
As you can see, today we are feeling grounded but slightly spicy. Okay? Because if you didn't know, let me be the first to tell you. The Holy Spirit got hands.
Did you know that? You ain't even know the Holy Spirit had hands. See, see, see? Girl, why you ain't reading your word? If you was reading your word, then you'll know about Jehovah Gabor that got the bink bink bow. Okay, let me. Let me stop playing in your face, girl. Let's get serious. Okay? All right. For real, for real. You know what had me shook the other day? I had a seven minute phone call that left me drained mentally, emotionally for three hours.
Honestly, it wasn't even a big conversation. It was somebody taking out their anger, aggression, attitude on me and venting again about the same thing that I've given advice on what seems to be 42 times. Okay. That ever happened to you? If it happened to you, let me know about it in the comments or tag me on social media if you listening to this episode. And when I hung up, I sat there like, but why do I feel like I just ran a marathon in heels though? And that's when the holy spirit checked me real quick. Like, because you carrying what I didn't assign you. Oh, oh, okay. God. Noted.
And that moment reminded me that just because you can hold space for everybody does not mean you should hold space for everybody. And that's what today's episode is all about. The invisible weight that you've been picking, waking up out of habit, out of obligation or survival. And how to finally set it down. In today's episode, we are talking about why you feel like you're barely holding it all together even though you high functioning Boo. Boo. Because period. We're gonna clock that T. Okay, how to ground yourself in the moment and the exact script to start setting calm, protecting boundaries right now. You ready? Let's go, bookie. This episode is brought to you by the power pack. Scripts, audio and strategy for confident conversations. If you've ever hung up the phone, like I should have said this.
Or found yourself over explaining your no for the third time this week, listen, Boo, this free bundle is for you. You'll get powerful scripts, quick audio lessons from me, and many prompts to help you actually say less, but means so much more. Boo. Grab the power pack at the link in the show notes and start showing up with confidence, minus the guilt trip. All right, let's get back to the show.
You weren't built to function in dysfunction.
I know it's what you're used to. I know you've experienced it your whole life, but you weren't built to function in dysfunction. You were built to flourish. So let's break down something that doesn't get talked about enough. The difference between functional chaos and internal chaos. Because babes, they are not the same. And if you've been feeling off lately, but you can't explain why, this right here might be your aha moment. I talked about this on my TikTok and on my Instagram stories a while back. Why I disappear in the summer. It was a pattern that I wasn't really necessarily completely aware of because I could tell when I drifted into a grief period. But I wasn't always able to tell the difference between the functional chaos, the internal chaos, and how to move through it. I teach this, but to live it, baby girl, is altogether different. So let's get into functional chaos. Functional chaos is that high functioning overwhelm. You are moving through the day like a pro. You are responding to text messages. You are rescheduling the dentist appointment. You lead in the zoom call. You checking on everybody in a mama emotional state. And you still managed to pick up dinner on the way home. Gone. What? Your bad self, right?
Wrong girl. That was not the point. You were supposed to be like, hey, no, ma'. Am.
Because from the outside, you look put together and low key people probably been complimenting you for your grace under pressure, right? Am I in your business now? Okay, but what they don't see is that your nervous system is low key. Screaming. It's literally screaming. You are constantly in go mode. And not because you're thriving, but because you're used to surviving. And I'm gonna say this as real as possible because the holy spirit had already snatched my edges. So if it snatch yours, it got to get snatched. Okay? It is the illusion of control.
You are juggling 12 things in the air, but you holding your breath while you do it. And somewhere deep down inside, you already know this ain't sustainable. Let's talk about the internal chaos. And that is when the noise shifts from around you to in you. You're anxious, you're irritable, you're mentally checked out. Even when the house is quiet, your mind is not.
You wake up exhausted even after eight hours of sleep. You feel emotionally raw, but you don't really have the words to put to it or to try to explain it. Even if somebody asked you. You snapping at people that you love or you shut down completely. And when somebody asks you the basic question, how are you?
You lie. You lie. I know you be lying. I know you do.
Not because you're fake though. Just because you don't have the energy to unpack everything that's sitting in your chest, everything that's sitting in your heart. And this is what happens when the chaos that you've been managing starts to manage you. And here's the kicker. Here's the kicker, Boo boo. Here's the kicker. Functional chaos fools you into thinking that you're fine. Internal chaos reminds you that you're not. You can't keep going. And neither one is how you were meant to live. You are not effective if you are living this way. So I'm gonna go back to what I just said. You weren't built to function in dysfunction. You were built to flourish. So today, we are not just naming the chaos, we are breaking up with it. You are about to learn how to calm your nervous System access God's peace in real time, like in the heat of the moment, and set boundaries to keep the chaos taking root in the first place. So let's get into it. Let's be clear. You don't need another escape plan. You need a rhythm. I know you keep hearing me say that and you like girl, but are you sure I don't need an escape plan? I'm not saying nothing is wrong with a vacation, but I want you to build a life that you feel like you don't need a vacation from. Okay, so what we mean over here in these streets when we say rhythm is a way to interrupt the chaos before it starts to hijack your body, your attitude, your day, your marriage, your kids, your job. Okay, we could keep going. We could keep going, but I'mma stop and I want to teach you three of my go to sila rituals. And for those that don't know, silah is a word from the Bible and it means to pause, to take note, to notice, to just stop yourself. This is something important. That's essentially what silah means in the Bible. And there are many different interpretations that ain't what this episode is about. The interpretation that we're going with is the pause portion. So these are three of my go to sea rituals and they're micro rituals on purpose because I want you to see, you don't need 9,000 hours, okay? You don't always have time to do 47 journal prompts or a 90 minute bubble bath. Although it be hitting sometimes you got three minutes. And even that is enough to reset your nervous system.
So ritual one, the three. Two, one reset. Three things you can see, two things you can touch. One truth that you know. This is for when your brain starts to spiral and everything feels urgent all at once. You pause, you look around.
Okay, I see a notebook, I see my water bottle, I see a candle.
I can touch the table, I can touch the fabric of my sleeve. And one truth that I know, I know in this moment, God is with me. Even in this moment. This quick ritual pulls you out of the mental fog that you might be struggling with and back into your body. It calms the sensory overload and gives your nervous system something real to hold on to. And if you need to pick up some things when you're doing that, you can. The only reason I didn't is because we record in bookie and this is one of three, and I'm walking you through it. But I. The idea is to go through it a little bit slower, taking a second and Truly being fully engaged. Okay? The last part, the truth, that's where the reset really begins. Because you're not just calming your body, you are anchoring your spirit in God's word as well. Okay, Ritual number two, soft shoulder checking.
Hey. Because ambitious women be like.
And our necks and our backs be so tight. My neck, my.
Okay, Lord. Okay, Lord. I'm sorry. Okay. Your neck and your back be tight. Your neck and your back be tight. That's what I was saying. That's what I was saying. Okay. Sometimes you don't need a full intervention. You just need to soften. Okay? So wherever you are right now, I want you to take a second, drop your shoulders because they probably tight.
Unclench the jaw.
Take a slow breath in through your nose, exhale through your mouth.
And I want you to say this with me.
I am safe right now.
I don't have to grip so tight.
If you've got your sila mist nearby, this is a pre labeled 1. Give yourself a little spritz.
Let it soothe your senses.
That scent becomes a cue for your body.
We are not in danger anymore. You are signaling safety, softness, surrender. And for those of y' all that don't know, this right here comes with the hustle. Rehab. I'm gonna tell y' all about this at another time, but you can use any room spray. So this is a linen and room spray, a mist.
We design it to be multi purpose so that you can soften in the moment. And it's a cue to your senses to surrender to. So this is perfect for me in between my sessions, after hard conversations, after a long night, when I get out of the shower, when I want to freshen up my linen, or when you catch yourself clenching your shoulders out of habit. Just let it be one scent that you use that is a reminder to you to soften. Ritual number three. Boo. Okay, this one is underrated and it's holy. Okay, I call this the voice note vent. Okay, I want you to open the voice note app, your notes app, whatever, wherever you record, hit record, hit record. Say whatever is swirling around in your head. Give it at least 60 seconds. No grammar checking, no filter, no self censoring. God, I'm tired. I don't know what I mean, but I feel disconnected. God, I'm mad. And I don't know if I have the right to. To be. But it's there. I'm telling you the truth. God, I don't want to forget him. They get on my nerves. God, I'm carrying too much. Show me what to set down. Whatever you need to release. Let your voice release what your body has been holding on to. Because sometimes, sometimes clarity does not come before you speak out loud. It comes as you speak. A lot of times I get clients in session who say, man, I'm just venting, or I spent this whole session just talking. I'm so sorry. No, ma', am. No ma'. Am. No sir. That is called processing. Our brains are making sense of things when we're talking it out. And you are being challenged and growing when you're venting out or processing out with a therapist. And that 60 second release might keep you from spiraling for six hours.
And isn't that worth it? Ain't that worth it if it do all of that? I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying again, you don't need a retreat. You need a rhythm. And this is what a rhythm looks like. Small, sacred interruptions that remind your nervous system, we are safe, we are seen, and we're staying rooted. These sila rituals are not just coping tools. They are recalibration moments. And when you practice them consistently, bookie, you stop defaulting to chaos and you start choosing calm without the guilt. Let's keep it real, because that's the only way I know how to be. Okay. Most of the chaos in your life did not start in your calendar. It started with your lack of boundaries.
I know, I know. It's not fun to hear, bubble. Hear me out. Hear me out. If you are constantly feeling stretched, resentful or low key, irritated by the people that you love, is probably not because they terrible people. It's probably low key because you haven't actually named your limits. You out here trying to perform like Superman or Little Jesus and then you getting mad at people when they. When they expecting you to do that too. But that's what you taught them. That's. That's how you had trained them to be. Because you never said where things stop. And so when we do not clearly define where we end and other people begin, then we live in a constant state of emotional blending.
And the result is high key. Toxic. It's toxic.
I can't call it no other way. You are over committed, under supported. And you are in a deep swirl of confusion about why you so dang tired all the time, baby. I know it. Let me give you the reframe, okay? I want you to start adapting this reframe right here. Boundary setting is not mean, it's not extra. It's not selfish. What it is, is spiritual hygiene. Just like brushing your teeth keeps bacteria from building up boundaries. Protect your soul from the emotional buildup that turns into burnout, bitterness and breakdowns. Yeah. It also protects your capacity so that you are available for your actual God given assignment. Y. Y' all know that song?
That song that had came out that we were singing? Lord, I'm available to you.
How could you. How could you be available if your capacity is spent on everybody else?
You may as well just stop singing a song. Time is literally money and it's the greatest form of wealth.
So let me say this as plainly as I can, okay? When you don't know your limits, someone else will define them for you. And usually they will define them based on their conveniences, not your capacity. Okay? I mean, let's just think about it. It makes sense, right? If I'm out to get what I want. Because let's be honest, most of us are selfish without. You know, that's our. That's our natural nature to be selfish. It takes intentional thinking for us to be selfless. So if we're thinking about what works best for us, that's what we're going to go for. Nine times out of 10, we're not really necessarily considering the other person's capacity. That friend is going to continue to call you at 10pm if you don't say you off limits at the 8. That client is going to keep pushing your response time. If you don't set expectations, that group chat is going to keep unloading on you. If you don't communicate. I don't got the bandwidth for this right now, now. And look, look, look, look. I know it's gonna feel awkward at first, okay? Especially when you are used to being the strong one or the go to who always shows up. But here's the truth. Peace don't come from people pleasing, okay? Peace comes from alignment. People pleasing gives you temporary peace. A counterfeit version of peace. And boundaries are the bridge between who you've been performing as and who you actually are becoming. So if you've been spiraling, snapping, avoiding people, feeling overwhelmed all the time, before you change your job, before you change your city, before you change your entire life, before you run away with your bestie boo, I need you to ask yourself, have I clearly communicated my boundaries or have I just been hoping that people will guess them or figure them out?
Just sit with that question. For real? For real. And you ain't got to tell nobody but God the answer. That's it.
Boundaries are not walls. They're doors with locks, and we get to decide who we open the door for and allow to cross the threshold. And this week, we are literally helping you with that. When you grab the free power pack bundle, I'm gonna need you to copy. Boo. I'm gonna need you to copy it. Go ahead and hit the link in the show notes. What you waiting on?
Welcome back for another breathe. Boom.
[00:21:03] Speaker C: All right, Boo, let's pause together for just a moment.
Wherever you are, take a slow breath in through your nose.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: And I want.
[00:21:19] Speaker C: You to hold it for a count of three.
Now exhale gently through your mouth.
Let's do that one more time, but this time, drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, Let your body soften just a little.
And as you breathe out, remind yourself, I don't have to carry it all.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: God's got me.
[00:22:04] Speaker C: And I have access to his peace. Anytime.
This is your reset.
A soft stop.
A selah moment in the middle of a swirl.
I want you to come back to this moment as many times as you need it.
Because the thing is.
[00:22:33] Speaker A: You don't have.
[00:22:33] Speaker C: To accept the chaos.
Calm ain't canceled.
You just have to create the space for it.
[00:22:44] Speaker A: Did you enjoy that?
You are allowed to opt out of chaos. That's what I want you to take home from this episode. You are allowed to feel what's real, what's happening around you, without being consumed by it. I want you to try one of these rituals this week and I want you to use a script from the free, free Power Pack bundle and watch how quickly peace shows up when you start to protect it. Download the Power pack bundle in the show notes. It's completely free again. And DM me when you use your first script, girl, I want to celebrate your. No like it's your birthday bookie.
And if you enjoyed today's episode, you already know what to do. Share the love. Share with your mama, share with your auntie, share with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple Podcasts and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you this week. I'll see you out in these social media streets. Bye.
