Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: You're listening to the Poised Powerhouse Podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness.
[00:00:20] Speaker A: I used to be caught up in.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: The hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important actually turned out to be the secret sauce. I. I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that simple Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic, you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Hey. Hey. Welcome back to another episode of the Poise Powerhouse Podcast.
[00:01:26] Speaker B: My name is Dr. Sita Hood, vision.
[00:01:28] Speaker A: Architect, licensed therapist and executive leadership consultant.
I know I have not paused you for sips and stillness in quite a while. That's because the recording timeline has been off. Girl, it's been off. It's been off. And you know why it's been off? You know why it's been off? Come. Come here. I'm gonna tell you why.
These kids at home. These kids are at home. Although by the time you watch this episode or listen to this episode, baby, them kids finna be back in school, okay? They're finna be back in school. All right?
So I already had my coffee. So right now, at this present moment, we're just sipping on some good old aqua, okay? Because we gotta stay hydrated and we gotta do what? Come on, you know the rest. Drink your water and what? That's right. Mind your business.
Period. Pooh. Overall, I am feeling very reflective and honestly, deeply grateful today. A few weeks ago, when it was summertime, I had looked at my calendar. Completely full, everything color coded. On one of those weeks when I was doing good, looking at my planner, beautifully planned and honestly, I felt numb, right? Just like, not overwhelmed, not anxious, just detached. Like I wasn't drowning because I was sure to, like, not overbook myself. But. But I also wasn't necessarily fully present either. So it was, I guess some people would say mid summer. They would say July is still mid summer. Cause school is not quite back yet. But by the time you see this, it will be. Or maybe, you know, your kids go back to school in September, but the kids were out of school and every day felt like this really delicate dance between therapy sessions.
Content planning because yeah, content CEO shout out to Alicia a pixie stock because period. Grocery runs the can I have a snack request. Can I have a snack? Can I have a snack? Can I have a snack? Can I get a snack? Ma, I want a snack. You. You know what I'm talking about. Those requests and also trying to be this soft place for everybody to land.
From the outside, it looked like I was handling it all. And technically, low key, high key, I.
But somewhere between the back to back sessions and the backseat arguments between the kiddos, I realized I was managing a life that I did not actually want anymore. Now I know that sounds crazy to say. Hear me out. I was managing a life that fit the past version of me. The one who measured her worth by exactly how productive she was or how cute her planner looked and everything was checked off. The one who said yes to everything because rest felt like I was being disobedient or out of order. If you don't say yes to volunteer at the church or the one who never paused to ask, does this rhythm actually reflect the woman that I am becoming? Does it reflect the woman that God created me to be? And that question, who I am becoming? Baby, let me tell you something. It hit different.
It hit different this time, okay? Because the truth is I had grown, okay? I had healed. But my systems had not caught up yet. My calendar, my commitment, my default go to mode. That hustle trigger. It was still wired for hustling. It was still wired for that over committed version of me. The one that God already put his finger on and was like, come on. Come on out of that. Come on out of that. So this episode is for you today. If you feel like you've been on autopilot, if you've been chasing goals that no longer inspire you or move the needle forward, this episode is a sacred pause. You are going to learn what identity drift actually looks like, how to spot it, and then I'm going to ask you a few powerful questions to realign your life today. If you're ready, let's jump right on into the episode. Boo. This episode is brought to you by the Power Pack. If you're noticing misalignment in your boundaries, your voice, or your relationships, your start fresh with the Power Pack. It's a free 3 day email series packed with boundary scripts, confidence Boosters mindset shifts in the form of an audio masterclass to stop shrinking and start showing up boldly. Grab it now at Detox hustlerehab Co Power.
All right, so I promised you that we would talk about an identity drift. And identity drift is what happens when your life looks really, really good on paper, but something just feels a little funky, a little off. Right? It's the subtle shift where you're still showing up, you're still performing, you're still getting the claps and the, oh, girl, you doing amazing comments and all of that, but deep down, something ain't sitting right in your sho, honey. And you know it's not sitting right. You have moved further away from your values, but you still feel like you are productive.
Your calendar reflects your ambition. So when you hear me talking about, yeah, girl, aligned ambition, you like, okay? Period. My calendar says that. But your nervous system is fried, Bookie. It's fried and you know it and I know it. So what is we doing? Your routine actually still works, but it just doesn't work for who you are right now. So let's talk about some common signs of an identity drift. You are excelling, but you feel unfulfilled in the work that you're doing. You're saying yes because you should, not because it's what you want to do. You are running on autopilot, following rhythms that you created for the version of you that don't even exist no more. I mean, we talking way back in 2005, like, why you still carrying routines and stuff from 2005 when you only had one kid or when you didn't have no kids at all.
Single version of you is very different from the current version of you. And you keep telling yourself, like, oh, my God, I'm so blessed. I'm so grateful. Or at least I should be grateful. But you're ignoring the divine nudge to shift because you're struggling to even see it as a nudge from the Holy Spirit. But here's where it gets even deeper. Boo. We don't just drift because we're disorganized. We drift because we have been conditioned to perform.
Even our healing. Even our healing ain't ours no more. Even our healing has become performative. Okay?
Enter performative self acceptance.
Yeah, you may have heard me talk about it before. I have a whole episode on it. But performative self acceptance is that version of you that says that she's resting, but secretly she's feeling guilty for doing it. It's that version of you who posts the Boundary quotes. But she still is taking on too much behind the scenes. It's that version of you who cannot tell if she's resting or honestly, just emotionally exhausted girl. And you can't tell if you're shutting down. You want to make wellness your lifestyle. You believe in alignment. But baby, let me tell you, the hustle trap is everywhere. Because let's be honest, this world is built to reward burnout. Especially for black women. Especially for faith filled, ambitious women who are told that their strength is in how much they can carry to oh yeah, God made you strong. You wanted his toughest soldiers. So of course, of course it's easy to get swept back into the grind when you want alignment, you want your ambition to be aligned, you want to live a lifestyle of wellness. Of course it's easy to look up and realize that you're building a life that doesn't even fit the woman that you're becoming. But let me tell you this, and I'm going to say this with all the love that I would give one of my sisters, one of my closest friends. Okay, I need you to lean in close because this might sting a little bit. But I'm saying it because I love you. God will not bless the version of you that you are pretending to to be. He wants the real version of you. Not the one that is performing productivity. Not the one playing like she's healed, but the real version of you. The one who's ready to pause. The one who's ready to pause. The one who's ready to reflect. The one who is ready to sit at his feet and rebuild from a place of truth. Not who society told you to be. Let's go ahead and name it. Performance based living can wear the mask of excellence. It looks good. It's gonna clap back in meetings, it meets the deadlines, it's strategic, it's polished and it's so heavily praised. But it is also exhausting because it keeps you in a cycle of producing instead of pausing, of executing instead of embodying. Instead you think that you are becoming your healed, non hustling self. But really you are performing a version of you that is easier for the world to digest.
One that over delivers to avoid disappointment. One that knows the lingo of boundaries but can't say no without offering a paragraph and a prayer, honey. One that still over delivers to avoid disappointment when. One that knows the lingo of boundaries but you can't say no without a paragraph and a prayer, honey. One that still thinks that she has to prove that she's worthy of being in the room, even though God already assigned that to her. Here's the truth. You cannot transform while you're pretending. You cannot evolve while you are consistently editing yourself for everybody else's comfort. And this is the spot where misalignment gets really sneaky.
Because you've grown. You have grown. And I want you to give yourself that credit. But you're still living in the blueprint of a woman you have outgrown. And if we're being real, you might actually be more familiar with the performance than the person that God is calling you to become. Because performance comes with applause. But alignment, Ooh, baby, that comes with pruning. And no one wants the pruning.
So let's pause and let's actually ask the deeper questions. The first one. Who am I becoming through my daily rhythms? Because your habits are forming your identity even when you're not paying attention. What are your mornings like? How much margin do you give yourself during your day? And your yes is shaping you into something or someone.
Is that who you want to become? Another question. Is my definition of success still sacred or just habitual? Are you chasing peace or just chasing productivity? And are you chasing God's peace or the world's version of peace? Are you building from overflow? Or are you still hustling out of fear that if you stop, everything is going to fall apart? Another question. What version of me am I still performing for approval? Is it the achiever who never misses a deadline? Is it the strong one who never says that she's tired? The girl who learned that rest makes you feel lazy and boundaries make you selfish? What version of you are you actually playing right now? Because let me tell you something that I say all the time. You don't need to earn rest. I want you to let that actually sink in. You don't have to audition for the life God already called you to. You just don't. He gave it to you freely. So this isn't about throwing away ambition. Because again, aligned ambition.
Period. Poo. This is about realigning your ambitions. The woman that you're becoming, she doesn't need a stage. She needs space.
Space to breathe space to stretch out, space to explore who she is. Let's actually release this idea that change has to be loud, dramatic, or Instagram worthy. Honey, sometimes the most powerful transformation happens in the quiet corners of your day. Not with a full life overhaul, but with one honest moment of awareness.
So I want you to consider this episode your reminder. Love. You don't have to blow it all Up. You don't have to quit everything. Cancel your calendar. Go on a silent prayer retreat. Unless God calls you to. Then go in peace. Boo.
But I want you to really ask yourself, considering this present season, what do you need one small sacred shift in the direction of who you're becoming? Is it a 10 minute pause instead of powering through? Is it a no, thank you that doesn't come with guilt? Is it a new morning rhythm that honors your energy, not just your goals?
A reminder on your phone that tells you that you're safe to change? Here's one thing that I want you to remember. Awareness is the access point to alignment. When I am starting sessions with my client, we always start with awareness. When you start to notice that these things maybe no longer fit, you give yourself permission to stop performing and to start pruning. And once you started the pruning process, then comes the rebuilding. But this time, not out of hustle, not out of habit. This time you're rebuilding your rhythms around your current values. Not your childhood survival patterns, not your mentor's blueprint, not your former self's expectations of you. Those was a little bit ridiculous. Anyway, girl, build from your current faith. Rooted, evolving truth. Because the woman that you're becoming, she don't thrive under pressure. We do not have to thrive under pressure. Only honey, she can blossom in peace. Because. Psalm 23, this is why. This is one of my favorite verses. He makes me lie down. He restores my soul. He leads me beside still waters. That means that I can bloom. I can blossom in peace. It does not have to be pressure. She does not fear slowing down. She trusts that rest is a God given strategy. She is no longer addicted to being needed. She's devoted to being whole. God's way. So here is your sacred charge today. I want you to make space. Make space in your day. Make space in your heart. Make space in your schedule for who you are becoming. To breathe. Okay, you don't have to do it all. You just have to have enough courage to start and step into the version that God is calling you to be.
All right. Boom.
[00:17:19] Speaker C: Wherever you are, go ahead and pause.
Unclench your jaw.
Drop those shoulders, soften that belly.
And let's just breathe together.
I want you to inhale for four counts.
I am safe to slow down.
Hold for four, because God is not rushing you.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: And.
[00:17:54] Speaker C: Exhale for six.
I release what no longer fits.
Inhale.
I am safe to change.
[00:18:07] Speaker A: Hold.
[00:18:09] Speaker C: I trust who I am becoming.
Exhale.
I surrender the pressure to perform one more time.
Inhale.
[00:18:27] Speaker A: Realignment.
[00:18:28] Speaker C: Is a holy reset hold.
I am worthy of experiencing God's peace.
Exhale.
I invite God's ruach breath into my next chapter.
And I want you to take a moment here, no rush, to ask yourself gently, what do I need to release before I can receive?
Come back to this breath anytime you feel yourself slipping. Into performance, into autopilot, into misalignment.
This breath, this pause.
It's not weakness, it's wisdom.
You're not behind.
You're starting again. Yes, it's true. But this time, boo, you're starting with God's truth in mind.
[00:19:48] Speaker A: All right, boo. It is technically still mid year and you've done a lot. But the real question is, who are you becoming and does she still align with what matters most to you?
You don't have to wait until you hit burnout to pause. And that's why the Power Pack is your first step back into alignment. Grab your free three day experience at Detox Hustlerehab Co Power and as always, screenshot this episode. Tag me on Instagram @HustleRehab or even on TikTok at HustleRehab and share your major takeaway from this episode. I love to hear from you. What? Or just leave me a comment below this video if you happen to be watching it on YouTube but you already know what to do if you enjoyed today's episode. Share the love. Share with your mama, share with your auntie, share with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple Podcast and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you today. I'll see you on these social media streets by Episode ad Power Pack Activate.
This episode is brought to you by the Power I'm just kidding.
Loki. I should leave that in there.
No, I'm just kidding. Do not leave that in there. But wait, I could.
Okay. No, no, no, no, no. Don't waste their time like that.
It.
