Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: You're listening to the Poised Powerhouse Podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness. I used to be caught up in the hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important actually turned out to be the secret boss I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify. This is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:23] Speaker A: Welcome back to the Poise Powerhouse Podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood, vision architect, licensed therapist, and executive leadership consultant. So check it out. Today's podcast episode is about to really shake up the way you think about success and being in alignment with that success. Because, honey, working hard, overworking yourself, that is not it. Okay? Especially not in 2025. In this episode, we're going to dive deep into aligning your ambition with your faith and and your values without the burnout. Now, y'all know we usually do a what's in your mug, right?
That mug is drained. Okay, I have drank the majority of my coffee and I only have espresso or double espresso pies. But I found that Starbucks holiday blend in the back of the nooks and crannies of my coffee stash. So that means it's time for another coffee order. Physically, I am feeling really, really good. How about you? What's in your mug? We are still like in this winter season. I would love to know what your go to winter drinks are. And if you notice that was not really a mug. It was a glass. Okay. Because we have been stuck on iced coffee, regardless of the fact that it's 9 degrees outside. What are you sipping on for the winter? Are you one of those people that's like no iced coffee in the winter? Let me know. So I wanted to talk about why working hard or overworking yourself a it's and how you get caught up in hustle culture. And to do that, we kind of got to go back to 2017, I was working in a therapeutic day school and I was also just getting my private practice off the ground. So that meant that I was waking up at like 6 in the morning, getting my daughter ready, taking her to daycare, going into work, because I was at a school, getting off work about 4:00 and then going to my job, my private practice, and working there from about four to nine. And at that time my practice was an hour away from my house. Can you say 10? I was tired, okay? I did not used to get home until like 10:00, 10:30. And by then, of course, naturally I was completely exhausted and just flopped in the bed. After maybe about six to nine months of doing that, I was like, this ain't it, this ain't it. It's not sustainable. Because what I realized was as hard as you work, because I had worked very hard to get where I was in my life at that point. As hard as you work, once you reach your goal, there's always going to be something that you're striving for more of and you're going to reach your goal. And then when you get there, you're going to be like, oh, this won't take me. And the end. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. To maintain all of this success, success that I've gained and the goalpost just continues to move. Unless you decide you don't want that anymore, by the end of this episode, you're going to walk away with clarity on how to pursue your biggest goals, your biggest dreams in life without compromising your integrity or your well being. Ready? Okay, let's go.
Hey, hey.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: Aren't you tired of running around like a chicken with your head cut off? How many times have you promised to do better with your wellness routines only to let life get on top of you again? I want to invite you to pause and pour by downloading my app, the Lavish Haven, your sanctuary for cultivating daily wellness. It's completely free to use. You'll start with our pause and pour quiz and then access our signature daily and weekly wellness trackers, mood playlists, elevated emotions, collections, scripture based guided audios, and so much more. Hit the link below to start today.
[00:05:20] Speaker A: Hustle, hustle, hustle hard. Hey, y'all remember that song? I know you do. Wildly popular, right? But we were sold a lie. Okay. It is a myth that Success equals working 247 or grinding harder than everybody else. That is not an indicator of success because you could be grinding harder than anybody else and you could have nothing.
[00:05:43] Speaker B: To show for it.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: So it is a deeply ingrained belief specifically in ambitious women, for a couple of different reasons. Of course, we have societal pressures because there is this school of thought that women can do anything men can do. And for me personally, I don't necessarily subscribe to that. I'm a delicate flower, okay? Treat me as such, okay? I don't even want to do all the things that men are doing, okay? But, you know, I get the general concept of equality and not discriminating against people based on their born identity. There's also guilt around taking a break because that's you. Every time I rest, and I be feeling guilty. Every time I rest and I be feeling lazy. Every time I. Every, every, every, every, every. Okay, girl, cut it, cut it. You're good. Trust me, okay? And then there's also again, this fear of being too lazy because a lot of us, if we keeping it a Hondo, were called lazy growing up. Whole time, we weren't lazy. We just had other knees, okay? We were stressed. We had a lot of stuff going on. And while I'm happy that the world today looks at all of those things that kids have going on on a regular basis, sometimes I feel like we almost hold them back from experiencing things that need to. They need to push through to help them grow. Like, yes, you have the space to. To take the time that you need, but also get your butt up in there and do the challenging thing, okay? You're not lazy. We gonna meet that need. We're gonna meet the mental need, the emotional need, the spiritual, physical, et cetera. But also. But also get your butt up in here and cleaning dishes, okay? Just me. Oh, okay. Moving on, moving on, moving on. So, like I started talking about at the beginning of this episode, my personal moment of realization of being caught up in hustle hard culture, or just hustle culture in general. I like to call it. My hustle culture moment was that 2017 when I realized that the goalpost will always be moving. That was like the seed. And then it just grew from there because I started to realize I was at an event that Dr. Ejeta Robinson was hosting for therapists, and she asked a question, and it was a very specific question, but I don't remember her exact question. But that triggered me to. To crying and thinking about my dad all fast forward. Once I came to understand what that was about, it was because I realized all the systemic pressure on people of color, and specifically women of color who are taught, if you want to get ahead, you have to work twice as hard. You have to go even harder in the paint and compromise your wellness in the process. Now, you do have to work harder than your counterparts a lot of times, but not to the point where you burn out. I tell this story to people all the time about how, you know, I saw my dad work hard, he hustled hard, and he had passion and compassion while he was doing the work. But we should never live in a society where it is too expensive to take care of yourself, where you can't afford the cost of living unless you are burning the candle at both ends. That is absolutely ridiculous. And once I realized that, that's where that seed of coming against systemic oppression came into the play. And I was like, no, we're not for it. We not for it. We not for it. Hustling is not your birthright. Alignment with the will of God is. Okay. Alignment is.
That's it. That's all. So we have to start shifting our beliefs, what it really looks like for faith and value driven ambition. Oh, baby, that hit very different. Okay? That's called alignment. That's called rest, that's called peace. That's called Psalm 23 type of formula, okay? Because God did not call you to exhaustion, he called you to alignment. You cannot carry out your purpose, your God given purpose, the expression of your purpose, without being in alignment with him. Okay? So what that looks like is I want to paint this picture for you again. I think I talked about this realization coming true for me and I want to bring it to you again. When Adam was in the will of God, he did not have to work from the sweat of his brow to get what he needed to do, what God created him to do. He only had to hustle for work from the sweat of his brow. After seeing I took the picture, after he disobeyed, after he was out of the will of God. So this hustle mentality makes us feel like we have to do certain things when in reality we are supposed to be functioning in alignment. There is a huge difference in ambition that drains you and that is rooted in like, comparison and pride and wanting to be better and seeing, well, they do it this way and I want to do it that way and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like that's comparison versus ambition that fuels you. I cannot tell you how many times I've been in my quiet time, in my quiet place with God and I have no content ideas, no nothing. I don't even know what the heck I'm going to talk about on the podcast. But in those moments, the Lord like starts stirring Something up in me. And then before you know it, I got all of these content ideas. That's the ambition that fuels you. Ambition that is fueled by faith is not about doing more. It's about doing what's in alignment with God's will for you. Let's talk about how to align your ambition without burnout. The first thing that you have to do is get really clear on what your personal definition of success is. Because success in reality is not just about money, okay? It's about legacy. It's about peace. It's about integrity. It's about impact. All of those things matter. And why now? Now, I didn't say it wasn't about money. I said it's not just about money. Because I. Because I heard some of y'all like, girl, bye. It's about the money. Okay, yeah, it's about the money, maybe, but it's not all it's about, right? What is the legacy that you're leaving? How will people remember you? What is the impact that you're currently having on people's lives around you? Are you having any impact on people's lives? Do you have a sense of peace as you are successful? Do you know how many people are walking around and they're miserable, but they have their version of success? What is your version of success in terms of peace? Are you at peace? Do you have integrity? Do you walk with integrity in your version of success? Because if you had to scheme, plot compromise over here, do a little something shady over there, do some strange for a little piece of change, is the success actually worth it? If the success is costing you your piece, it's too expensive. Give it back. Return to sender. Let's redefine your version of success. That's the very first thing that you need to do to align your ambition without burnout. The next thing you need to do is build a flow or a rhythm or a cycle. But not hustle cycles. Did y'all know how hustle cycles go? Hard, hard, hard, hard, hard. Burnt out. Need to recover because your body said you need to recover. Go hard, hard, hard, hard, hard. Burnt out. You need to recover because your body said you need. We don't. We want to get off that hustle cycle. Get off that hamster wheel, okay? You don't need more time. You need a better flow, better systems, better strategies. Okay? Let's think about how you will go about creating your work and your rest rhythm that supports your individual purpose, your individual assignment. And we can take what I've been referring to as the Jesus Framework and go with that. Jesus ministered heavily, right? He was out there going hard in the pain, ministering to people, but not to the point that it depleted him. And then what would he do? Spend time with his disciples and then go away, Minister disciples, go away. Why he was being poured into and all of those essences poured into. And how much time do you need regularly in your schedule, minister, be rebuilt to be poured into so that you're not going all the way down to burnout. We're not down at the burnout level. We're not getting down here. We want to be at a maintenance level right here in the middle, right? So we do a thing and we pour into. We do a thing, we pour into. We do a thing, we pour into. That's how you generate momentum. Next, I want you to think about making decisions that align with your faith and your values. You have to be in alignment with your values. Why? Because if you are operating outside of your values, you're going to align with somebody that you think gives you an opportunity where you can get ahead. And sure, you get ahead, but it's going to require you to do some shady stuff to get there. Is that really the legacy that you want to leave? Is that really how you want to approach that promotion? Is that how you want to be known in your community, on your job, to your family, to your kids? You have to think about all of that stuff. So you have to check your ambition. Is your ambition aligned? What is it rooted in? Is it rooted in comparison because I want to look like those people? Or have you actually found something that you really believe is your expression of purpose and you are called to carry that thing out and you're operating according to how you're called? And so that could look like this right here. When I was younger, both my sisters could do hair. My older sister could do hair, and some of my younger sister could do. I'm like, girl, how is the one people hair? Okay, so I'm trying to do somebody up. Child, let me just say. Let me. Let me tell you that baby hair was jacked up. Okay. Now I might could do a little bit of something on some hair today, but back then when I was trying, it was completely jacked up. I didn't know how to. How to be intricate and like get the weave in to go right and then don't make sure the texture was combed. And I. Why I was in somebody else's lane because my sister is a hairstylist to this day, I was in her lane. I was in her lane. I felt miserable. I felt like I wasn't good enough. My self esteem really suffered on that. Why? Operating out of alignment, it was not my value. I didn't care about, like, oh, yeah, making somebody look good doing this, blah, blah, blah. I don't even. I couldn't even tell you to this day what values a stylist holds dear and why a stylist is so, like, motivated to make you look good, right? Why? Because that's not my purpose. That's not the expression of my purpose. My motives were wrong. I'm looking at, oh, she's popular, you know, everybody want her to do their hair and she's earning a little bit of extra money and she's doing that. That's the reason I try to start doing hair girl. But that's not who I was. So when you're not in alignment with your values, everything is going to be messed up. You know when I finally was like, okay, forget it, forget it. I ain't doing nobody here. I don't know how to do nobody else. Because first of all, y'all know she.
[00:17:24] Speaker B: Talked about me, right?
[00:17:27] Speaker A: And she wouldn't even have been wrong, okay? And what's so crazy about is when I was doing that girl here, I knew I was jacking it up, but I was still trying to make it work. I was still trying to make it work. And it's still the same thing that's happening to some of you today. It's like you operating in somebody else's lane and you still trying to make it work. And it's not working because that ain't your lane. So what you have to do is give up and be okay with being in that empty space before you find your thing, before you find the thing that truly works for you. Because you're not going to find that if you're trying to get up over there. You got to be willing to drive in your lane for a little bit and see what happens, see where we go along the road. And one key question to help you determine that is, am I doing this because I'm operating in my aligned values and by align values that I have and what's in alignment with what God has for my life? So there's overlap. Am I operating in my aligned values, in my purpose, in my faith, or am I just performing for approval? Am I looking at what this other person has? And I'm just trying to figure out a way to get that. Another thing you have to do is let go of the guilt that you have to Hustle. Give yourself permission to succeed in peace. Right? I know you like what, what that means, succeed in peace. Well, everything don't have to have conflict attached to it. Some things really do go seamlessly. Sometimes there are minor issues. You know, I'm reminded of again that Psalm 23, like ye, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of dead, I will fear no evil because he's with me. He makes me lie down. He makes me come to a place of peace, he makes me rest. And then later on, he prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies. So, like, we don't even have to worry because the entire plan is already in Psalm 23 and it's carried out. All you gotta do is walk with him. All you gotta do is rest. All you gotta do is make sure that you're in alignment. And speaking of walking with him, the last thing I want to tell you about aligning your ambition without burnout is you have to surround yourself with people who get it. I don't. I don't care. I don't care if you sitting up in front of Titi, Pookie and them and they keep on discouraging you. Those are not the people that you need to be in a face right now. Not yet, because you're not strong enough. Not saying that you have to cut them off, but right now, while you're in this phase of trying to realign your values, of trying to redefine success, success, of trying to figure out what you actually want to do in this phase and stop hustling, Stay over here. Like, but all the women in the family go hard in their pain like this, but all the women do this, but all the. All the. Step back, step back. Your path is different, and that's okay. So you have to surround yourself with people who get it, and you have to avoid those relationships right now that push hustle culture, because you deserve connections that pour into you, not just take from you. God did not even design you to continuously pour, pour, pour, pour, pour. That's Jesus job. Not your ones. Why are you trying to. You. You don't even compare to him. So take a seat. It's okay for you to be poured into. The bottom line is you don't have to run yourself ragged to be successful. God has a different plan for you, A plan where you get to flourish, not just survive. You didn't just make it out of that situation to continue hustling, to continue being exhausted, to continue being completely worn out. No, you get to flourish. And the last little bit of encouragement that I have for you is that when you rest in God, you get to experience success that feels good, success that lets you rest. So success that aligns with exactly the way God created you. If you're ready to take this work deeper, I want to invite you to grab the mental Reset guide, your step by step blueprint for breaking free from overthinking, shifting your mindset, and stepping into success without burnout. I'm going to leave the link below in the show notes for you to grab that if you're interested.
[00:21:58] Speaker B: You know those little things that just nourish your heart, mind and soul? Those little gems dropped in your week that make all the difference in your day but are seemingly unimportant. Like the person who went out of their way to do something nice for you, or that amazing sermon on YouTube that just hit exactly like you needed it to. Well, I'm sharing my weekly nourishment with you and if there's something that nourished you this week, I'd love to hear about it by tagging me on Instagram at @Doctor Cetahood or dropping a comment underneath this episode.
[00:22:33] Speaker A: Here we go.
Welcome back for another weekly nourishment this week. I've been loving diving into the daily grace co is God enough for me now? I already like they studies life. I love them. But they're starting to do like these spiral bound studies and I'm enjoying it because I like the paper. Papers matte and y'all know we love paper. We're like obsessed with paper. Okay. But the lessons, I just feel like the way they do their Bible studies are 10 times more in depth than when they started. And I love that for them because it's like again, give something space to breathe and grow and morph into something different. I'm just going to show you like what the inside of it looks like. So you have a quote and then they tell you to practice the memory verse of the week and then you read whatever scripture is for the day. You read this part of you which is the actual devotional part. Then you answer the questions. Good. I like to use this little note section to write a prayer to God that they have attributes of God that I'm meditating on and then things that I will remember. And then it also has an end of the week reflection every week. What I love most about their studies is that y'all just seeing something the application. So end of the week part and application part go off in.
What I love about their studies though is that it's also accessible through the app. So that is what has been nourishing me. Diving into the Word of God and being led in a kind of a devotional by the Daily Grace. Co. I love them. As I've said plenty of times before, if you enjoyed today's episode, share the love. Share with your mama, share with your auntie, share it with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple Podcast and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you today. I'll see you on these social media streets by.
