Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] You're listening to the Poised Powerhouse Podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness. I used to be caught up in the hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important actually turned out to be the secret sauce. I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic, you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Hey. Hey. Welcome back for another episode of the Poise powerhouse podcast. I'm Dr. Sita Hood, Vision architect and licensed therapist. This week I am doing a throwback episode that I felt was super important because you know that we're always talking about principle and profit over here on the podcast. In today's throwback episode, you are going to hear me talk about why it's important to build your business ethically. The sneaky little ways that you might be contributing to systemic oppression, ways that Kingdom creatives are tempted to compromise their integrity and the foundation that you're going to need in order to build a sustainable business. And you know, we are always talking about values, so I'm going to give you some tips for staying true to your values. With that being said, let's go to the throwback episode. What is in your mug today? Today we are sporting the wifey mug here. And what is inside is the donut shop. Vanilla cream puff. I am upset, obsessed with vanilla cream puff. Okay. I feel like y'all know that I have like my classic flavors and it is awesome to me when y'all report back to me like, oh my gosh, I tried that drink and it was really good. You were right. Etc, etc. You know, and this week somebody tried the brown sugar shaken espresso from Starbucks. I was like, oh my gosh, such a delight. Shout out to you, girl. I'm glad you love it. Anyway, mentally, I'm in a good place. I allowed myself a soft start for the new year and I've come to learn that that's part of what I love about having a January birthday, right? Is being able to start the year off softly, is being able to exit the year with grace and fun and everybody in alignment and then enter into the new year the exact same way. You know, because my birthday is so close after the holiday, then it is kind of just everything rolled into one. So like my favorite months are September through January.
[00:03:31] That's my season, y'all. Not only because I love fall, but just because it's my kids birthdays, it's my husband's birthdays, it's a holiday, it's my birthday. It's like so many people's birthdays and so many celebrations and acts of love that happen during that time period. But don't get it twisted because Lecrae said it best. Every 12 months is my season. Kill me, I still be with Jesus There ain't no way I could lose but you touch. Okay, I ain't gonna go there because that, that line was a little bit. Even though I agree with him. And if you know that song, then you probably already know the lyrics. But anyway, moving on. Okay, let's talk about it. Ethics and empires. Why is it important to build your business ethically? Why is it important that you don't compromise your morals when you are climbing the corporate ladder? Because you know those CEOs who make you sick with a little messy top down approach where you do all the work and they reap all the benefits. You know, you come on, you got somebody in mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those companies that give you the ick? Uh huh.
[00:04:41] Those are the ones who are individually contributing to systemic oppression. And if you know nothing else about me, know that I am heavily against systemic oppression. And you might be like, okay, doctor, what that got to do with me though? I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you. Bring it in, bring it in. Because if you release your morals to get that promotion or to partner with somebody that doesn't share your principles, you could also end up contributing to systemic oppression. And I know systemic oppression seems like this big, broad, large idea or thought that is like, okay, what's really the tea with that? Okay, right, I get it. What's the big deal anyway? Well, since systemic oppression is exactly what it sounds like, it sounds like systems that are not set up in favor of you. Listen, slavery ended, but microaggression is very much still a real thing. Systemic oppression is a real thing. Now I want to be culturally sensitive on this podcast. And I will say that not everybody feels this way, but we got to address something. Okay, I need to take a sip of coffee for this first, because we got to talk about this. What we need to talk about here is I'm finding from my own personal experience, but also hearing the words of my clients, that more and more white people are feeling threatened by black people or people of color that are finally getting equal opportunities in some areas, and that, in and of itself, I ain't gonna hold you. It's wild to me. It's. Wow. I'll be honest. You're mad that I finally have as much a chance as you. You're mad that I potentially have some semblance of even getting the same opportunities as you. You mad that somebody is giving me an opportunity. And considering that we didn't start on the same playing field that you started up here and I started down here, and somebody is like, hey, let me give you a leg up. And it's not even a leg up to where you're actually at, because you can erase the color of my skin, you can erase all the other microaggression that I experience and all these other spaces, but you can give me a boost to kind of get up there. And then I got to work still twice as hard as my counterparts based on who I am. And you're mad about that? Hmm.
[00:07:08] This is a real thing, y'all. I hear my clients talk about this in their jobs, in their positions, that other people are upset. Oh, better watch out. Affirmative action is making it hard for us. Better watch out. Blah, blah, blah. No, actually, they're just giving everyone an equal opportunity. Okay, moving on, moving on. Last year, I did an episode on principles like Balenciaga, and I talked about how your principles are the backbone of your life, and if you don't stand for something, then unfortunately, you are probably contributing to the problem. Is sad that. But it's true. Is racism excused simply because you didn't know you was doing something racist?
[00:07:53] No, no. Somebody might have more empathy for you if you were copying somebody in your life who behaves that way. But truthfully, though, nah, nah. We can't just excuse the behavior. And also, age matters, context matters, all of this. You know, I have had racist clients sit down in my therapy chair and didn't know that they were racist. Didn't know the things that were coming out of their mouth were racist. I remember having one client who was a teen, spent the whole time spewing out racist things. And the way that I do my therapy Sessions with teens is I allow them to private time and then at the end we bring the parent in and we recap what we discussed. So I let the session go where it was going and when we brought the parent in at the end, I told the team, share what you shared. And the parents said, wow, sounds like you're racist. And the child was like, what? That can't be the case. And we just going to leave that there for client confidentiality. Right, but it could be the case. It could absolutely 100% be the case. Now, that team did not know what they were talking about, but they got those values from somewhere. And it doesn't excuse that they are still the ones spewing this out of their mouth. It is also possible to have racist parents, racist grandparents, racist whoever. And you act and behave in a totally different way than your parent, than your grandparents, than your guardian, than your whatever. Which is why, nah, we can't give you a pass if you didn't know that something was racist. I'm sorry, but we can't. You have to learn to do better. Now, there is safety for you to unpack that. There is safety for you to figure that part out. But you don't get to ask people to bypass their feelings, bypass microaggression, bypass their whole entire being based on a mistake that you made. Right? We just don't get to do that. And if you've been listening to this episode and you like, yeah, I hear you, but this ain't a me problem. You feel me? Let's talk about some of the ways that people are often tempted to compromise their ethics when building their empire. And to be clear, building your empire could mean in a corporate office. It can mean kingdom creatives building out a program, whatever that God told you to build. And it could be creative CEOs so launching or expanding your business. So when we're talking about empires, we basically talking about stacking that paper. Okay. In all capacities. Stacking a paper. Challenge one. The bogus boss. The bogus boss who asks you to work insane hours and then fudge up the paperwork to make it look like both of y'all did a good job. Both of y'all was doing good. Let's keep it real. Let's keep it real. Most people are simply going to do what their boss is asking them to do. Especially if you are getting a cut or you are benefiting some type of way from doing what your boss is asking you to do. But then the problem with that is if it comes around to bite you in the Butt nine times out of ten, you losing your job and your boss probably ain't gonna have your back. And even if your boss does have your back, it doesn't save you from the larger repercussions that come with whatever you did. Let's think about all those folks that signed up for the PPP loan, okay? Because some, some of them in jail, some of them in jail right now. And so I would say like, was that worth it? Was it worth it to fudge up the paperwork for the time being and take money away from reality business owners that needed that money just for a hot dollar that honestly you probably don't even got no more of at this point, you know, that wasn't worth it. Challenge number two, profit versus principle.
[00:11:49] This is an age old debate around ethics because so many people compromise their principles for the sake of profit. This saying Friday next, Friday, Friday after next, that ain't just a black folks classic for nothing. Okay? A famous quote came from that movie and it go a little something like this. Would you do something strange for a little piece of change, honey, would you do it? Okay, let me know if you would do something strange for a little piece of change. Would you holler for a dollar? Okay, I'm being silly, but it's true. People do something strange for a little piece of change all the time. But the problem is when the change gone you back to where you started from. And you might be looking a little bit stupid out here in these streets. So we can't be out here doing something strange for a little piece of change because most of the time when you got to do something strange for the little change, that change be gone. And it's exactly what it sounds like, change. That's why I'm not with the get rich quick schemes. I'm not with the, yeah, we can just hustle hard for this time being. We could just do that. No, we can build holistically. We can put our best foot forward. We can put all the time, the energy and everything that we need to put into the foundation so that this empire that you want to build outlives you. And we can do that in a holistic way. We can hustle responsibly, but we can also value our wellness so that we don't have to try and quickly put something together quickly throw this together for a quick profit, to impress somebody, to fill in the blank. We don't do nothing strange for a little bit of change because it's change and change be gone like that. We want the big kahuna that's what we want. We want the big bag. And if we want the big bag, that means we got to build a proper foundation so we have something to stack the paper on top of you. Okay, Challenge number three, Peer pressure. Oh, yeah. It don't just disappear because you grown. Peer pressure in business is even more intense than high school because it's so much riding on it. It's peer pressure on social media, it's peer pressure on your job, it's peer pressure from your family. It's pressure to do things a certain way or to live this glamorous life that honestly, everybody does not have access to. So when you are out here pressuring people to do certain things, to show up in certain ways or having certain expectations, that real your privilege is showing. Your privilege is showing. And you always have to acknowledge that. That's why I'm really careful that I don't use phrases like, oh, it's only $20 a month. Oh, it's only $10 a month. Oh, it's ONLY $100 a month. Because when people say stuff like that, your privilege is hanging out. Some people can't afford $10 a month. Some people can't afford $20 a month. And it's not necessarily that they're not trying. It's just this is the hand that they were dealt. It's just life choices. Maybe that didn't start off being their fault, their actions, but based on where life has them. They can't do it right now. And it doesn't mean they don't want to do it or they feel away or you're too bougie or whatever. No, it's privilege. It's privilege and it's systems, again, that are designed to keep people trapped in a certain income level, in a certain way of living, in a certain mind frame, mindset in the jails. I mean, I could go on and on and on here. So the biggest challenge is figuring out how to stay true to your values when you are in a tight spot. How do you keep holding strong to your values when everybody around you is building an empire and they compromise in left and right? I'm just going to say what I always say. Put yourself in the places and the spaces where you are connected with people who are aligned with you, with your overall vision for your life, with where you see yourself and how you see yourself. It really is true that birds of a feather flock together, so you need to link up with other women who want to change the world. That's one of the things I love about this work that I do because I get to bring amazing world changing women together to empower each other and to change the world. So I host a free community space, the Abundant Life Society. And there are some dope women in this space. You can look for the link to join this in the show notes or below this video. And so I asked the discussion question in the group and some of the ladies were talking about some of their goals for the new year. And one person who happens to be a financial advisor saw that a lot of the women were asking questions about their finances. And a couple people, you know, just commented similar things about getting better with their finances. And you know what she did? She said, doctor, I'm a financial advisor and I want to host the workshop for the society. And I was like, girl, you better go off, okay? And we did. We did it this past Sunday. And the workshop was about building wealth, real wealth, and living your version of a rich life, your version of an abundant life. And it was a great workshop. And that is what happens when you are not willing to compromise your values, when you see a need, when you're on the ground with the people in the trenches and you are willing to wholeheartedly say, you know what, I have a solution for this problem. Let me come and help y'all. Let me upgrade y'all. Let me help you elevate your lifestyle. That is what happens when women have the opportunity to connect with one another. They are empowered. And so some of the places and spaces that you can put yourself to find like minded people with the same ethics, with the same values, with the same principles are conferences and networking events. And I don't want you to underestimate the power of meeting somebody at church or even meeting a friend through the Internet or something, or an app like Bumble for Friends. There are friendship apps just like there are dating apps out there. And I know some people are cringing because, you know, we're millennials and it's like, girl, we just used to meeting people the good old fashioned way. I know, I know. But if you're willing to give dating apps a try, why aren't you willing to give friendship apps a try? And even if you don't want to give friendship apps a try, place to meet people with aligned values is by engaging in the things that you typically engage in. So, for example, I love books, so meeting people in a book club is convenient for me if that's something that I decide to do. So really think about the things that you love. Think about the things that are in alignment with your values and where you would like to be and be brave enough to go 1, 2, 3 times by yourself and meet people in that space. That is often where you find people that hold the same type of values as you and enjoy the same types of things that you do.
[00:19:28] It's time to talk about what I've Been Loving Product recommendations, shout outs to family and friends, and overall gratitude. Less get into it.
[00:19:41] Welcome back for another what I've Been Loving.
[00:19:45] So for those of you that don't know, I created and released an app, a wellness app, back in 2021 and I was super excited about this app. I launched the app. My community loved the app and used it pretty regularly. But I thought it's 2024, it's time for an app refresh. And so I have been working tirelessly behind the scenes to refresh the app, to give it a new name, to give it a new face, and to present it to you. So it's not quite ready yet, the latest version, but what I've been loving this week has just been creating the mood board and looking at the mood board for inspiration as I'm adding content to the app and I'm going to insert a picture here of the app app for you or of the app mood board for you. But it's give you really light and airy and a safe space to breathe. So it's going to be a free app and I want you to be on the lookout for that because I would love to have you use the app, have you downloaded, but more importantly have you use it and share your user experience with me. So that's what I've been loving. I'm a creative so it makes me really excited to create things for people and to cultivate experiences for them that they would really enjoy. So I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you enjoyed today's episode, share the love. Share with your mama, share with your auntie, share with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple Podcast and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow well, that's all I have for you this week. I'll see you on these social media streets by.
