Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] You're listening to the Poist Powerhouse podcast. My name is Doctor Sita Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness. I used to be caught up in the hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important, actually turned out to be the secret loss. I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact, not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify. This is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Welcome back for another episode of the Poyce Powerhouse podcast. I am your host, Doctor Sita Hood, vision architect and licensed therapist. It is a pleasure to be on the airways with you. It's a pleasure to be on the airways with you. What's in your mug, girl? What is in your mug, honey? What are you sipping on? Did y'all try those new Starbucks drinks that I heard they have out? If you did, let me know how you're feeling about it, and I'm not even gonna hold you. I did, in fact, head on over to Starbucks and grab me one of those pumpkin cream iced chai tea lattes. And it was Chef's kiss giving honey. However, that's not what we sipping on today. Today we are sipping on, or should I say this was a melozio pod from Nespresso.
[00:02:23] And just so y'all know, off camera, I definitely had to google how to say that.
[00:02:29] But this is the Melosio pod. And as you can see, it's pretty good. Cause, honey, it's gone. It's gone. I couldn't. This is me recording after a day of sessions. She was just sitting there. She was calling my name. So that is what is in my pod or my cup, my mug, et cetera. Physically, I am actually feeling close to a four, and I need to rest today. And that is precisely what I plan on doing. I am recording this podcast on a Friday. I just feel like I'm inching towards a three. And I know I probably feel like that because the summer's been super busy, but also, I've been going to, like, studio red classes pretty much every day at the gym. And studio red is more like a weight training class. And I used to do that, like, two, three times a week. But for the last two weeks, your girl been hitting that class daily. So my muscles are sore. This week has been super busy, and so I could just feel myself inching towards that three. And I think that this is the reason why I love fall so much, because there's events, but it ain't gonna be events like it is in a summer, okay? And I don't really feel overwhelmed by the events that happen in the fall because most of the time, people want to stay inside and they want to stay cozy, and they want to keep minding a business. Honey. They not out here trying to do too much and invite you to come to this last minute. You dig? You know? Okay. For real. Sometimes that does happen in the fall, but not. Not. Not too much. Okay. But let's get on to the content of today's podcast episode. Remember when you were, like, super excited that you found out you got that promotion? You was like, yes, I am literally climbing up this ladder. I got this. You was, like, struggling with a little bit of, like, imposter syndrome at first, and you was real nervous when you interviewed and everything, but turned out the company wanted you. They wanted you in that role. And then you had got in that role, and you noticed that the relationships that you had with some of your colleagues, it started to change a little bit. And then you had noticed that although you had all these goals to hit these KPI's a certain way and for the company to launch this brand new. This new program you was thinking about that got pushed back and. And the KPI's wasn't KPI in like you wanted them to. And also, with all of that stuff happening, you kind of overheard people talking about one of your initiatives in the break room, and then they got all quiet when you showed up. And so all of those things have you definitely struggling with imposter syndrome. I mean, you know, you're good at your job, but you're not quite understanding why all of these things are happening. In today's episode, we're going to talk about three surprising traps ambitious women fall into when they are climbing the leadership ladder. Hey. Hey. Aren't you tired of running around like a chicken with your head cut off? How many times have you promised to do better with your wellness routines, only to let life get on top of you again? I want to invite you to pause and pour by downloading my app. The lavish haven, your sanctuary for cultivating daily wellness. It's completely free to use. You'll start with our pause and pour quiz and then access our signature daily and weekly wellness trackers, mood playlists, elevated emotions, collections, scripture based guided audios, and so much more. Hit the link below to start today.
[00:06:28] Well, honestly and truly, the very first trap that women fall into is unrealistic standards of perfection. And it isn't entirely your fault that you keep falling into this trap. Because I really feel like society sets us up with unrealistic expectations about what we as women can actually achieve in 24 hours. And then they make us feel shame when we can't manage everything, everything that we are quotation mark supposed to manage. And this shows up because when you're in that space, that leadership role, that exciting new era of your journey, you start functioning in the role. How you think the other people, the people who hired you, the colleagues, the co workers, etcetera, how you think they want you to function instead of how you were made. Instead of leaning into your different ideas, you fall into the trap of shape shifting to fit what this person wants. What that person wants, what this person thinks is good. And the truth of the matter is, you got this position because you're dope, okay? I need you to lean into that and know that it is God who brings you this level of success. He will bring you to the level of success that he wants you to have. And you do not need to shape shift for anything that already has your name on it. Period. Poo. Okay?
[00:07:58] Seriously. So I need you to launch out into the deep. Be brave enough to lean into your God given ideas and your gifts and understand you are going to make mistakes. You can't be afraid of making the mistakes. I mean, let's keep it real. You shouldn't be careless either, you know? But you can't beat. So paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes that you never actually do the thing that you're called to do. I will never forget when I had a client who received a promotion and she was like, you know, doctor Hood, I'm really nervous to transition into this role because this is how they see it. This is what they want me to do. And I don't see it like that. I see me being more aligned with, like, the relational aspects of it. And I said, and you were still offered the promotion, so why would you think they wouldn't want you to step into the fullness of what you bring? They know your characteristics. They know your personality traits. They know what your values are. If you have been authentic in the workspace and they hired you for that reason. So what that means is step into them shoes, put your stilettos on, even if it was kitten heels before you put the stilettos on and show up how you need to show up. Run the role, do the roll, run the play, exactly how you see it in your head. Head, because you got the promotion for a reason. But don't try to be flawless because you can't be. You got to make mistakes in order to learn things right. And so trying to be flawless inevitably leads to burnout. And why? It's because you are forever trying to balance all the things. So the unanticipated consequences of falling into trap number one, the unrealistic expectation of perfection. You are stumped in your decision making. You have an issue with delaying your destiny because you're afraid of making mistakes.
[00:10:06] And you're not actually operating in faith when you do things this way because faith is taking the steps before you see the provision. And when you operate like this, you actually end up with the opposite of what you're trying to achieve. You end up with decreased productivity levels and increased stress levels. Your productivity is decreased because you're so close to burnout, or you continuously hit waves of burnout and you're not really doing a good job with managing your wellness. Here's the remedy. Because you know I ain't gonna never tell you about none and then not give you the remedy, right? Okay. All right. So here's the remedy. Practice self compassion, acknowledging and appreciating all the things that you can do, but not feeling bad for what you can't do. We don't need to throw no pity parties over here. We don't need to invite shame in this space. Why? Because I guarantee that if you look back at your track record, honey, you'd be impressed, okay? You will be impressed with what you've already accomplished. And the deeper truth is God ain't looking for perfection, okay? Because perfect people, they don't think they need God, so he ain't checking for them because you ain't even checking for him. So it's. Okay. Another remedy for this is empower other people through delegation, okay? I'm not even gonna lie to you, right? I'm about to get all up in your business, and I'm gonna get up in your business because I love you and I care about you, okay? If you think about it, a lot of us do not delegate because we're prideful. Oh, yep. Mm hmm. I said it. It is prideful to think that you are the only one who can do a particular thing right. Ouch. Okay. I know it's thing. I know his thing, right. If you never said to yourself, if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. Well, it ain't gonna get done unless I do it operating in pride. Right? It's also the reason you are so stressed out. You are too busy trying to play Jesus to everybody, that you burning yourself out. And the funny thing is, if you really wanted to be like Jesus, the truth is Jesus uses people, Jesus delegates, Jesus uses willing vessels to go out and accomplish his will. You, you see how the enemy be having us all deceived. Come on now. Come on now. But again, as usual, there's no shame in this space. When you realize a thing, you just turn around and go about your business. You, you just turn around and you, you ask the Lord for forgiveness, or you do what you got to do, and then you go on about your business and you make the Lord proud. Okay, trap number two, that ambitious women tend to fall into underestimating the benefits of networking. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know you're busy. I understand, I understand. But if you delegated a bit more, you'd be a little less busy. Okay, let's keep it on. Okay. And I know that we live in a society that praises busyness, but again, let's keep it a hundred. Are you really happy with consistently being busy? Are you really happy with constantly having things to do? Are you? I know, I know, I know you're not. I know you're not. And that's why we're working to change things. Okay? It's easy to fall into the trap of prioritizing your immediate tasks over relationship building for support and high quality community. And that's really the importance of the networking, support and high quality community. And I don't care what nobody say, everybody need to be supported. Everybody needs somebody that got their back, right? So things do need to get done. That's reality. But this is why it's important that our lifestyles be aligned with our values. And then we create aligned priorities and then we create aligned goals. So we get to embrace our ambition. We don't have to say goodbye to the ambition because we're wives, because we're moms, because we're fill in the blanken. You get to embrace all of that, and we create more time for things like networking and establishing quality relationships. And I know we're so used to doing things alone, but let me just tell you, there is nothing like having a group of amazing women backing you, okay? Backing you up, amazing women that understand you, that love on you, that support you, and you need that in every single spot space that you walk into. Especially leadership is certainly valuable when it comes to leadership. So really quick, like, what's a high value community? It is people who are genuinely invested in you and people who want to see you win. I mean, there's no jealousy, there's no competition. They are legit rooting for you. So the unintended consequences of trap number two, aka not networking realistically, without the support, you are potentially not offering your best. And you're not offering your best because you don't have a group of people to consult with on your ideas. So you're the only person who thinks that this thing is amazing. And then when you launch the thing, you're upset because the thing failed. But there was nobody that you were talking to about it, nobody who could offer you a different perspective. And another unintended consequence is you also don't get that much visibility.
[00:16:17] If you are working on a project that requires community partnerships, you are limiting yourself by not branching out and teaming up with other amazing women who have common goals. Now, they might not be doing the same things, they might have different methods, but the goal, the end goal, is the common meeting ground, and you're depriving yourself of that visibility. You could get front of their audience, they could get in front of your audience, and it's a community effort. And community efforts definitely tend to go much further. So the remedy for trap number two, of course, of course it's going to be for you to start being intentional about prioritizing relationship building and keeping networking on your calendar again. I know, I know, I know. You're busy, we're busy, etcetera. But even once a month, making time for networking, it can be helpful for getting your name out there. If you just make a goal of like, you're going to contact somebody once a month and talk to them about this amazing organization or the amazing project that you're running at the organization, or, you know, figuring out how you can partner with one another. You can also leverage social media because you can actually meet some amazing people on social media. Now I ain't gonna hold you is definitely some irritating people on there, too. Okay. It's a lot of people who are fake. You know, they fake like they are in certain areas for the impact and the relationships and etc. And then you reach out to them and they petty, they bogus, they are haughty and everything else in between. I get it, I get it, I get it. They act like they're interested in relationship building, but in reality, they are focused on self glory. But yet, and still, in spite of all of that, you can in fact meet some amazing women. So it's like, it'd be like a diamond in a rough because there's like a bunch of women like that. And then when you dig through, you find maybe one or two that are actually aligned in goals and values. And it might not seem like it's worth it to cycle through those people, but it is, because you only need two, three. You. You just need a handful of people in your corner to keep you going, create partnerships with these like minded women, and even more importantly, keep you a mentor, okay? You always need somebody underneath you that you are helping to pull up, people that are on the same level with you, and then a mentor who can give you really grounded, solid advice. Trap number three, failure to establish appropriate authority. I'm just gonna say it, okay? I'm just. I mean, we've been talking real on this podcast the whole time. I'm just. I'm gonna just say it, okay? We all want it. We all struggle with it. And even if you wanna admit it is there. You wanna be likable, okay? And there's nothing wrong with wanting to be likable, okay? But because you want to be likable, you're struggling with assertiveness. And then when you hear somebody say something about your leadership style or you as a person, it throws you for a loop because you like, first of all, I'm the one in charge. Like, why they talk, I'm not. Or why does she think it's okay to drag her feet on a report that I asked her for two times already? Well, well, well. Cause, sugar, you acting like they friend. That's why you're not being assertive enough. And there isn't a clear boundary drawn in between you all. And trust me, I get it. I wholeheartedly get it. Some of my most painful moments in leadership came because I wanted to be liked. I cared about having a really amazing team, but also I wanted to be liked. And I really did like my employees. One thing that I have learned, though, you can be cordial, you can be liked, but you also better be respected as a person and for your role. So some unintentional consequences of trap number three, aka failure to establish appropriate authority. You're not showing up authentically.
[00:20:52] We have to be honest about the role that societal biases play when it comes to ambitious women in leadership. We already know the game is stacked against us. The numbers are rigged and don't let you be a woman of color. Oh, then it's definitely rigged against you. Okay, but we have to be real about that. And a lot of times if you work in male dominated spaces, it's very easy to feel intimidated and to lose yourself in performing or tap dancing or shape shifting according to what you think they want, according to what you feel like, would please your colleagues, your boss, the people that you manage. And it's also really easy to go too hard on the other side because you want their respect. But in reality, now they hate you because you went too far. And let's be real about the company's bottom line, okay? When you don't establish authority, your KPI's are definitely going to suffer. You cannot effectively motivate your team to take action because they won't respect you. So let's talk about the remedy for this one. Establishing clear goals based on your company's vision and then communicating those goals to everyone. Making sure that the people on your team are in alignment to a degree with the company vision. Otherwise, you risk compromising the company culture. People who do not support the work that you're doing, they tend to see their role as just a job, which means they gonna show up and do the work like just a job. I remember when I had hired somebody who seemed to be a decent fit for my company. And really, if I'm being honest, it was a hire just because I knew them and I felt bad for them. But I quickly, quickly learned that this person was not aligned with my company values based on the way that they did treat and did not treat clients to the private practice. And I learned it based on the lazy way that they also showed up to do their job. I could see clearly that it was just a paycheck to them and they really were not invested in the mission, the vision, the values of the company. And trust me, when you are in a position of leadership, oh, that's a very hard lesson to learn. No one wants to learn that lesson when you actually need some support and you hire somebody. So also being more assertive in your communication. Assertiveness does not have to equal rude either. So learning how to appropriately speak to people with an assertive tone that is not disrespectful. Learn how to convey your message and convey that you mean business without crushing other people's confidence and then take it a step further and get some feedback from that mentor that we talked about so that you could develop authentic confidence that shines through as you lead your people. It makes it easier for people to trust you as their leader because they feel like they know where you're going, you know where you're going, and they know where you're going because you're confident in the vision. And remember, they hired you for this role for a reason. All of this is so important for a company's bottom line. And it's the reason why I'm so passionate about redefining leadership. Because more organizations need training on leadership development so that leaders do not fall into these traps.
[00:24:40] It's time to talk about what I've been loving. Product recommendations, shout outs to family and friends, and overall gratitude. Let's get into it.
[00:24:54] Welcome back for another what I've been loving this week I have been loving the fix your focus guide from the Daily Grace Co. And I've been loving the fix your focus guide because it is a devotional that you read. It's like really brief. It got like prayer prompts, but it's a devotional that you read in the beginning of the week when you're planning for the next week. You plan out your times when you're going to pray. And you know there's different scriptures and different affirmations that you can right in your planner. And it is really good at keeping me focused on the things of God. So that's what I've been loving this week. How about you? What have you been loving? If you enjoyed today's episode, share the love, share with your mama, share with your auntie, share with your best friend, then head on over to Apple podcast and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you this week. I'll see you on these social media streams. It bye.
