Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] You're listening to the Poist Powerhouse podcast. My name is Dr. Seida Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness. I used to be caught up in the hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important, actually turned out to be the secret sauce. I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact, not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify. This is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Poist Powerhouse podcast.
[00:01:29] So let's talk about the name change and why it was completely necessary before we get into today's episode. So, I started this podcast three years ago. First of all, wow. Three years in, and I did it out of sheer obedience to God. You know, I know it was a trend to start a podcast. It still kind of is a trend to start a podcast. But I did not want to start a podcast. I had zero desire, especially to be in front of the camera. So I think after, like, year two, guy was like, nah, you need to. You need to get on video. And I'm like, a video podcast, lord. I ain't trying to. I don't want to get on video, okay? So I got on video. None of this was my plan, okay? And so, as I reflected on this three year anniversary, I could see the different areas where God used this podcast to grow me up and to connect me with some amazing women. God knew exactly what he was doing, and he had other plans for me and my growth. So, as I reflect again, I had to grow up. First of all, as a podcaster, I developed even more consistency and discipline because I already kind of feel like I was a disciplined person. But, man, to, like, produce episodes week after after week after week, oh, baby, come on. You got to be disciplined for that, okay? And for the most part, with the exception of a couple of breaks here and there, I pretty much produced an episode every single week for the past three years. That in and of itself, oh, thank you, Jesus.
[00:03:20] Anyway, he used this podcast to help me grow, but also to teach me and help me get comfortable, using my voice to help me to develop confidence and even to embrace my identity. Because the truth of the matter is, it is impossible to lead people and not be transformed. The transformation is either going to be positive or it's going to be negative. Oh, baby. But you going to transform, you going to change. You're going to be changed in some type of way. You know, it can lean to the left, it can lean to the right, but the change is going to happen. And so I've actually considered changing the name of the podcast for several months. And I think I even mentioned it a couple of weeks ago because I just couldn't put my finger on it and I couldn't figure out why the name love ish just wasn't cutting it for me anymore. And I don't regret naming the podcast lovish because I really do feel like the conversations that we've had over the past three years were so necessary. We needed to unpack that authentically and have a space to do that. So I don't regret lovish, but I was like, this is kind of not cutting it anymore. And so as I began to reflect, I began to pray. You know, I reached out to a couple of people, asked them to pray with me that God would reveal the name to me. And I finally figured out why love isn't sitting well with me anymore. And it's because I was undervaluing both myself and what God was calling me to do and who he was calling me to impact. And come on.
[00:05:04] I know I'm not by myself.
[00:05:07] So many of us undervalue ourselves, and we miss the gravity and the importance of our assignment because we don't feel like it's a big deal. I didn't feel like it was a big deal to start this podcast. I recorded it. I was obedient. I did what I was supposed to do, but it wasn't a big deal to me whole time. It's a setup from God.
[00:05:34] So fast forward to September 2023 in my work with my coach, doctor Latonya Moore. And first of all, y'all, that in and of itself is a move of God, okay? Because if you know me, then you know I am extremely leery when it comes to these Internet coaches and these fake gurus, okay? But Doctor Moore is anything but that. She is powerful. She is an anointed woman of God. And just so I don't like gatekeeping, I'm gonna put her information down below in the chat, so that if you feel like, you know what I'm saying, you might want to tap in, go a little bit deeper. You're looking for a coach. You're looking for somebody to guide you. I'll let Doctor Moore promise she got you. Working with Doctor Moore, I realized that my focus was entirely too small. And it's because I was struggling to understand who I was and to grasp that every moment in my life, everything that happened to me, positive and negative, led to this point in my life right now, which was learning to embrace my identity wholeheartedly without hiding in the shadows, which is what it would have been easy for me to do behind the mic, right, without the cameras. But hiding in the shadows is not going to help you create the impact that God is calling you to create. Women are naturally taught to hide. We're taught that we need to show up in a certain way. And the truth is, you just need to show up. However, God called you to show up. Okay? So when I finally learned to embrace who I was and truthfully who I had been this whole time, I gained so much clarity, so much wisdom, and so much understanding about what I needed to do and who I was serving. So yes, this podcast is still going to talk about mental wellness, faith, relationships, and love, but in a larger, very specific context. Let's talk about the name. The word poised just sat with me for months. I just couldn't even, I couldn't shake it. It just won't let me go. Okay?
[00:07:46] And I think in my adult life, I've had always strive to be poised and to truly understand what it looks like to be a balanced woman of God who creates impact and essentially a modern day proverbs 31 woman. For those that don't know, poised means having a composed, self assured manner, having a graceful, elegant bearing. So this woman isn't the woman who follows the social media trends. She's not the woman who freaks out when stuff happens. She's not the woman who is perfect either. But she is the woman who is composed. And the word composed means that she has her feelings and her expressions or her emotions under control. She is calm, so she knows how to regulate her emotions. That is a poised woman. And the other word, powerhouse, is pretty self explanatory, but let's define it anyway. It means a person of great energy, strength or power. Those ambitious women who always managed to get things done when you like girl, but you had all of that going on. How did you get you? When did you have a time to okay, that's the powerhouse. And so when I sat back and I looked at the women that are drawn to me, the women who invest in my programs, the women who seek safe spaces, and the women that I've been called to minister to, baby, this perfectly describes her. She is a poised powerhouse. Whether she sees herself that way or not, that is who she is. She is passionate. She loves God. She's unselfish. She desires true community. She has a lot of dreams and goals that she wants to accomplish. She's loving, she's solution oriented. She's brilliant, although she would never say that out loud. And she's often underestimated. But she's creative, she's innovative, and she is a leader. And that is who this podcast is for. So changing the name is a way to call in or speak to my tribe, my squad, my society of ambitious women, the society of poised powerhouses. If you know a woman like that or somebody popped into your head when I was describing this, do me a favor and celebrate the three year anniversary by sharing this podcast with her. I want to continue to grow and expand the abundant life society. That's my free community, if you don't know. But I want to continue to expand this because we've seen the most recent example of what happens when women come together. And I hear you. You like, well, what's the example? What have we seen? Okay. And because you need an example, I'm going to just say it. The black women who raised $1.5 million in 3 hours to support Kamala Harris. That's what happens when a society of women get together and are motivated to create impact in the world. And if I just called you out, if you feel sane. Hey, girl. Welcome to your safe space. I'm inviting you to the place where all of you is absolutely welcome. No code switching necessary. This is the place where you don't have to feel pressure to show up a certain way. You just get to exit exist. Okay? And if you want to really do live together, I'm going to invite you to join the abundant life society. More on that in the coming weeks. But it's been a journey on this podcast over the last three years, and I regret nothing. I didn't do a special anniversary episode this year because I wanted to fully commit to the rebirth or the rebranding of this podcast. And so the best way, again, that you can celebrate with me is by sharing the podcast on your social media and tagging me or just sharing one of your favorite episodes with somebody that you know will enjoy it. So let's jump into today's episode. What is in your mug? Now, before you roll your eyes? Cause I'm gonna tell you what's in my mug. Okay, but before you. Before you roll your eyes, we have the pumpkin coffee.
[00:12:14] Yes. It's August, and I'm drinking pumpkin coffee because I love fall. And I saw a meme on social media that said, once the weather goes below 80, the fall girlies bring out the uggs and everything else. And that couldn't be further from the truth. Like, come on, I am red d. Yes. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Okay, but what is in your mug today? I am feeling physically well. I am on a five on the scale of optimal functioning, aka my sweet spot. And I'm sure it's because of my unanticipated three week break.
[00:12:56] Now, come on. Y'all know I wasn't gonna come on this podcast, play in your face, and not talk to you about that three week break. Honeydehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe I didn't even mean to do that if we keeping it real. But I have to be honest. I have to go according to my optimal levels of functioning. I can't talk to you about wellness as a lifestyle. And then I'm lacking. Don't do that over here. No, but there was a lot that happened over the past few weeks, and I just didn't have the capacity to show up. Rather than, you know, recording or stitching some mess together, I just took the break that I needed. You know, my cousin came in town for over two weeks, and we had a ball, and I had so much fun hosting her. After that, our biggest baby turned 16, and we threw her a party. And then after that, it was time to hustle for the start of school.
[00:13:53] Come on, now. The end of summer was crazy. Okay, but let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. You ever been called Bougie for wanting to do things a certain way?
[00:14:06] You ever feel like you are super extra because nobody around you seems to be doing things the way that you do it? Or maybe you find yourself questioning whether you should stop doing things a particular way because people call you Bougie and they low key throwing shade in the process? You know what I'm talking about? Okay, well, if that's you, this episode is for you. If you've ever been called Bougie for wanting to do things with your whole heart, wanting to go above and beyond, I got you. I'm one of those people who hates half hearted effort, and I do my best not to give half hearted effort in any situation. Right, but again, I'm human. And I give everything I have. And I pour everything I have into everything that I do. I'm talking about a workout. I'm talking about the cooking. I'm talking about friendships. I'm talking about my motherhood. I'm talking about all areas. We're going to throw our whole self into it, right? And see, I believe that there is a specific type of woman who gives off the bougie vibes. And she's ambitious. Okay. Hair flip, honey. And period.
[00:15:20] There's a reason why ambitious women have higher standards. So let's talk about why.
[00:15:28] Hey. Hey. Aren't you tired of running around like a chicken with your head cut off? How many times have you promised to do better with your wellness routines? Only to let life get on top of you again. I want to invite you to pause and pour by downloading my app, the lavish haven. Your sanctuary for cultivating daily wellness. It's completely free to use. You'll start with our pause and pour quiz and then access our signature daily and weekly wellness trackers, mood playlists, elevated emotions, collections, scripture based guided audios, and so much more. Hit the link below to start today.
[00:16:11] Reason number one. Their purpose requires it. It's just plain and simple. I remember my freshman year of college. My parents threw me a trunk party. And for those that don't know what a trunk party is, it's kind of like a baby shower, but for college students. So you celebrate them graduated from high school and their transition to college with a party. And you bring them the things that they need for college from their listen. So they'll write out the list of everything that they need and want. And then you just purchase things off of the list. So my parents threw me a trunk party. And when I say that I had 90% of what I needed to successfully start college, it was truly a blessing. Come move in day. So I spent a lot of time in the computer lab for the first semester of college, which, honestly, was irritating, because if you know anything about fall and winter, well, not even fall, I ain't even go. I'm sorry. Fall, I ain't gonna. Do you like that winter weather? If you know anything about when we get closer down to that snowy period. It was irritating working in the computer lab with the cold weather because you had to walk from your dorm room all the way over to the lab. And so I did what a lot of college freshmen do, and I pretty much blew off a lot of studying because it was too complicated to spend all that time in the uncomfortable chairs of the library or the computer lab. Plus, you always had to wait for somebody to get up off the computer. You know, it was just overdoing it. Overdoing it. It was given too much.
[00:17:53] Naturally, the consequence for my decision was bogus grades after the first semester. And so that was kind of like my wake up call, because I was like, yo, bro, you did not come to school only to flunk out, only to fail out. You know what I'm saying? And so after that initial semester, I thought to myself, something had to change. So I scraped up enough money to purchase a rusty, dusty used laptop from.
[00:18:23] I had bought it from eBay.
[00:18:26] And I know ebay is, like, ancient now, but people still use it. But, I mean, come on, it was og. It was. This was when eBay was, like, really giving. Yeah. Anyway, the laptop was huge. It was nothing like what we have now. It was clunky. And if I'm being honest, it was a piece of crap, okay? But it was, like, my first laptop that I purchased on my own. I mean, come on. I was trying, right? So I was just so happy to have that little clunky piece of crap, right? Because I was typing papers in my room. I had music playing on my cd player or my radio, and I was in my comfortable chair or my bed. And that part was dope, right? That. That was the dope part. But I would be me and paper, and then a laptop would die, or I would be mid paper and it would start glitching, and I had to start it over or it didn't properly save to my flash drive because, like, the cloud wasn't quite clouding yet, you know? And so this is when I learned the power of saving my work every 6.5 seconds, honey. Okay. But even with me saving my papers, there was a lot of frustration with that dog on laptop. It was supposed to help me become more efficient, but it actually ended up making me have to work harder because it wasn't doing what I needed it to do, the very basic thing. So come sophomore year, I finally convinced my mama to buy me a brand new laptop. And this was before Chromebooks existed. So laptops was, like 900 plus for a high quality laptop. By the time I graduated, I made the Danes list. Okay. A simple upgrade of a better quality laptop. A high quality product helped me to work more efficiently and to get things done and finish. Strong, ambitious women have expanded capacity, meaning a higher capacity for getting things done, because it's how we're wired. And expanded capacity means that your lifestyle has to be different. You're not the one who could show up to work exhausted because you've been out all night partying. Nah, that. That ain't you. You're not the one who could get passed out drunk. Trust me, I know. I'll tell you another story, girl. Lean in close. You probably want to have your teeth for this episode. Okay. I remember it was a really dark time in my life, right? And I was going through something, and the pain was just, like, so great. And I remember, like, having the thought, I just want to get blackout drunk. And I didn't tell anybody that I felt like this, but I just wanted to forget what was happening, to disconnect from reality for a while, to be disconnected from my pain, right? I mean, we. We talk real on this podcast, and that's where I was at mentally. And so I went to a friend's party, and I took so many shots. I mean, I was like, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. You know, just like, I loaded up, right? And I can't even tell you how many drinks I drank on top of the shot. And at the end of the night, I was just pissed off. And I was pissed off because in all my drinking, I couldn't get blackout drunk. I couldn't forget. I couldn't disconnect from the pain. And I ain't gonna hold you. I feel like I'm a thousand percent sure. It was like the Holy Spirit was adding water to my drinks or something, because ain't no way.
[00:22:10] How did I drink all of that? And I wasn't even blackout drunk. Like, how did I still. How was I conscious still? Like, I don't even know. But I did this. I tried this strategy of, like, trying to get blackout drunk for a season of partying, and I was never able to get blackout drunk.
[00:22:27] And I couldn't understand why I didn't know it at the time, but it's because the standard that God had for me was very different. My lifestyle had to be different. And I was over here, like, how come it's so many people who could get blackout drunk and just, like, forget about things and be okay and feel a sense of relief? But I couldn't. It was because the call on my life was different. Even in drunkenness, I was still too aware. Even when I had given up on me and when I had given up on my purpose, I was still who I was. I was still the person God wanted to use from the foundation of the earth. That season was about my identity and acceptance of who I was. And it's okay that my standards were different, that God holds me to a different measure. It's okay that my life was different. It's okay that I feel things differently because it's on purpose. But I had to go through all of that to understand, baby girl, you're different. You're different. And so if you've ever done anything like that, it might be a sign that you are also different, that God also has a different standard for your life, but expanded capacity, expanded capacity for ambitious women that God calls to impact the earth. That means intentional living. That means you have to care for yourself differently. It means you need higher quality to help you accomplish the goals that God set before you. And even in the drinking, besides the drinking, let's take food. Let's take your fitness. Let's take your sleep. Uh oh. I know. I'm in your business, nine. I know, I know I'm in your business. Now. Let's say go sleep in your food. You know, are you nourishing your body? Are you giving your body what you need so that you can show up the next day the way that God intends you to? Right? Like that is intentional living. That's why I go so hard for wellness as a lifestyle, because you have to be. You are the most valuable asset. You are the vessel that God wants to use. So you have to be in top tier condition as much as possible for you, right? And so that means taking care of yourself and investing in higher quality for your life. Right? And I. Even if we take it to a different context, I can't host a retreat for ambitious female leaders and run it out of a truck stop motel, right?
[00:25:09] Because nobody would ever come. I mean, I wouldn't even come, right. Another reason ambitious women have higher standards is because they need higher levels of support. Ambitious women need higher levels of support because they have to have room to make mistakes. They're going to get it wrong. I cannot tell you how many times I've gotten things wrong. And I've had to have the space mentally to make a mistake and to keep pushing forward, but also the space to talk to my friends in a non judgmental space and for them to say, you know, you might have made a mistake this time, but it doesn't change your purpose. Hey. Doesn't change your character. Hey. Doesn't change who you are. Come on. Come on. You need people to pour into you like that, so you have to have room. You need people who can reframe stuff for you when you're at your lowest point. Ambitious women have to have people who are committed to their purpose just as much as they are committed. They have to have a safe space just to figure out life. And as someone who requires a higher level of commitment to the relationship, you should also be offering higher levels of commitment. Now, when I say higher levels of commitment, do not get me wrong, right? I'm not necessarily talking about excessive calling or constant texting. I'm talking about high quality experiences over the quantity of experiences. I mean, you could talk once a month, but if it's a high quality, invigorating conversation that energizes and pours into you, that is a high value relationship. With there being higher levels of support and commitment to one another comes the grace to make mistakes, the grace to be disconnected, the grace to explore. In my programs, I talk about the ability to make mistakes. And the push in our society for cutoff Culture is so strong that people think you're weird if you're not cutting somebody off. But honestly, the question that I consistently ask when I'm in these interactions with people, where is the grace for people's growth? Where's the understanding and the kindness for making mistakes? And I'm not even gonna hold you. Some of you haven't even tapped into the most genuine parts of your relationships because you're unwilling to move forward after somebody offended you. Because you're so easily ready to write off what they told you as an excuse. Because you've forgotten about the grace that you needed when you did something like that or something similar. Now, if we take a moment and we be real, because that's, again, what we do over here, I'm going to ask you this question. Are you a safe space in your relationships? You think about that relationship where the person keeps lying to you about seemingly silly things, right? And you're like, why didn't they just tell me? I tell them all my hot tea. They could talk to me. I tell them all the time I'm here. You can be honest, you can open up. But the truth is, if somebody isn't comfortable sharing with you, it's for one or two reasons. It's a them thing, and they have to figure things out, or you're not actually creating the safe space in the relationship like you think you are. And it's okay to sit with this and to do an assessment on whether that's true or not. But if you want and need high quality relationships, then you have got to start offering high quality in your relationships. And I don't want you to fall into the trap of self loathing or being so irritated with who you've been in the past that you're too afraid to change the future. If you were a bogus friend in the past, there is still room to be an amazing friend in the future. Higher quality matters because it produces better results. Now, this is not always the case, but more often than not, higher quality in most areas equals better results. Higher quality wins any day over stitching things together and trying to make it work. Let's go back to my laptop, for example. Yeah, I had a working laptop. I bought a very expensive, at the time piece of equipment, right? But it took me so much longer to finish my work than it should have, because the quality was crap. If I had to watch a video or something for class, it took longer because the software and stuff on my laptop was just too old to handle the newer software, the newer videos. So it kept glitching, it kept timing out. And it wasn't no wireless, it was no wifi, honey. It wasn't no Wi Fi. And I know I'm telling you how old I am now. It was dial up. Okay, so we have to plug that thing in, right?
[00:30:19] And it was just all types of problems that took away from the precision and efficiency that I could have offered. Right. That is one of the reasons why it is a life philosophy for me to invest in the latest researched tech for myself. Okay. I'm not just going to get any tech, but I am going to heavily vet any piece of tech that I desire and see if it can function for me efficiently, for me to be precise in what I'm doing. Because higher quality laptops, they function better, which means you produce better work. I have to have a reliable quality system to record this podcast. Reliable software to record this podcast. A top of the line mic to record this podcast. To see my clients virtually. I have to have good Wi Fi to create graphics, to edit videos, and everything else in between. You need higher quality. Why? Because you have to produce more. And when you produce that, that has to sit right. It gotta be, well, right like it has. It got my name attached to it. So, first of all, I ain't gonna give you nothing that I ashamed of. Let's start there and then. I'm definitely not about to slap Jesus name on none that that's like looking like you ain't gonna catch. No, I'm not about to play like that. Because again, even in this, even in how you do your job, even in how you show up in relationships, we're offering our first fruit. So my first fruit is higher quality fruit. What I am producing has to glorify and honor God. And so I have to give the highest quality that I have. And so it is just a general fact, right? It's a general fact that higher quality produces better results. High quality relationships positively contribute to your self esteem and how you see yourself. Let's go back to that example of the friends, right? When you start to struggle with imposter syndrome, these are the people who are going to hold up a mirror and say, I see you look into this mirror. You see you. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean that that's who your character is, right? That that's how you show up all the time. That's not a permanent part of your personality. Okay? So you had a slip up. Okay? So something happened. That's not who you are. And so these are the people that reassure you that you're not what you feel like, and they remind you of your character so that you can keep going.
[00:32:59] It's time to talk about what I've been loving. Product recommendations, shout outs to family and friends, and overall gratitude. Let's get into it.
[00:33:13] Welcome back to another what I've been loving this week. I have been loving kickboxing class with Rob. Why do I love it? Because it's a whole different class, okay? Like, it's just I'm taking the same classes. We're pretty close to the same classes for over a year and a half now. And so it was really nice to switch up my classes and do kickboxing. And so that's what I've been loving this week. How about you? I would love to hear what it is that you've been into this week. Week. If you enjoy today's episode, share the love, share with your mama, share with your auntie, share it with your best friend, then head on over to Apple podcast and leave us a five star review. Review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you today. I'll see you on these social media streets. Bye.
