Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:03] You're listening to the Poised Powerhouse Podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness. I used to be caught up in the hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important actually turned out to be the secret sauce I. I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that simple Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Welcome back for another episode of the Poise Powerhouse podcast. My name is Dr. Ceta Hood, vision architect, licensed therapist and executive leadership consultant. How are you doing, honey bunch? How you feeling today? You may notice that I do not have a mug next to me, but we are still in sips and stillness. Boo Boo Kitty. Okay, today I am sipping on the Odasio coffee and of course it's iced. Yes, it's iced, Boo Boo. Because that's what we do.
[00:01:55] It's not here with me right now because after I'm done recording this episode, I'm going to be headed over to my physical office location. This is my home office. I'll be headed to the physical office location where I'm going to do sessions where we're going to change lives. But before that, I wanted to pour into yours. Today I am feeling determined and focused and again headed to the office, anchored in peace. Okay, take a deep breath with me.
[00:02:24] Inhale, grace.
[00:02:27] Exhale, grind. Today's tips and stillness is going to be a little bit different because I'm going to give you a prompt from my sea lies softened surrender deck. I'm super excited about this. This is a ritual deck for the woman who doesn't know how to care for herself. You know, we talk about wellness. How do I take care of myself? I don't know how to do self care. Or if I ask you, what do you do for self care? You're gonna be like, right? I know. Because you high functioning because you too busy right? These Cards solve that problem. Why? They give you what to do according to your preferred sila style. And for those that don't know, sila means to pause. And so your preferred sila style is according to your five senses, Taste, touch, smell, all those different things, and according to how much time you have. So you may do a quick reset, which is one to five minutes, a deeper ritual, which is five to ten minutes, or a sacred session, which is ten minutes or more. And because I didn't stop there, girl, I separated it into categories as well, so you can decide what you want to tap into based on mental, spiritual, physical, relational, etc. So each category has its own little set of cards. And today I'm going to read you one, but I want to show you how the card looks first, and then I'm going to read you the sila prompt. Okay? So I'm going to pull one from the relational sila, and this is going to be a sacred session, which means it's going to be a little bit longer than 10 minutes, or it's as long as you want it to be. So glow is the style, which is visual. That's the sea style. And it's best to use this when you're feeling disconnected from your community or you're craving meaningful connection. The Selah ritual prompt is to write a note or message to someone who's been on your heart. Keep it simple and sincere. And then the affirmation, I'm designed for connection, and I don't have to earn love to deserve it. And then, girl, because everything lines up with the word of God, we got a biblical receipt, bookie. And the biblical receipt is let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. Hebrews 10:24. So I just want to show you that because there are little ways that you can pause and pour into yourself that you can really take a selah moment. And so this is the Soften Surrender deck. I've been super excited about struggling to keep it a secret, but you heard it here first on the podcast. I haven't even talked about this deck on my stories or anything like that. So I guess that mean we hear. We hear. I want you to really take a minute and do that C lot prompt. And also, if there's nobody on your heart that you can think of, here's another C live prompt for you. You ready? You ready, bookie? Okay. What is the lie that I've believed about rest, and am I ready to release it so you can journal about that I will love it if you dropped it down below in the comments. And let me know if you're watching this on YouTube, if you're listening to on Spotify or your favorite listening platform. Screenshot this thing, boo, and go ahead and send it to me. So I want to take you back for a second. I want to take you back. When I had achieved a level of success, I wasn't hustling 24 7. Those of y'all that have been around probably remember that I used to say hustle responsibly. I was self caring, right? But the truth is, baby, whether you hustling all the time or you hustling some of the time, you still hustling.
[00:06:27] And this story hits a little different because it's a subtle kind of hustle. The high functioning, faith, girly, aesthetic kind of hustle. And, you know, I thought that I had cracked the code. I wasn't overbooked, but I was always on. I had morning routines, but I still equated peace with productivity. I said no to things, but I still felt like rest had to be justified or that it had to be earned. And baby, don't get it twisted, I had the receipts. Okay? The receipts were receding. Okay, honey. Booked and busy wasn't a red flag. It was a flex. Until God started showing me that just because I'm not sprinting doesn't mean I'm not still striving, like, out of my own strength. Like, you know, you know, where you be like, I'm doing this for the Lord. I'm doing it for the Lord. And you don't left him. You done left him all the way back there.
[00:07:29] Yeah, that's what was happening. And so this is when I realized that boundaries without the softness and the protectiveness for me, we're still bricks. That quiet hustle was still hustle if my nervous system never got to exhale. That responsible grind is still spiritual misalignment if it overrides God's rhythm for your life. So I just gotta tell on myself real quick. You know, I just. I used to brag about it. I used to. Yeah. Hustle response week. Yeah, I got boundaries. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was time blocking and I had cute planners, and I realized that I was calling control clarity.
[00:08:21] I'm just trying to get a little clarity. You been there? Raise your hand. Raise your hand if you been there. Okay, okay. We all been there. Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. That's when the Holy Spirit checked Me and said you're still caught up in performative self acceptance.
[00:08:38] Ch. Okay, I was done. I was done. Because don't nobody want to hear that. And what even is performative self acceptance? If you got that question, girl, scroll back on my YouTube and go listen to that episode on performative self acceptance where I dive really deep into it. Deep rooted. It doesn't feel good. It's not a feel good episode, but it's an episode that's going to definitely get you right and stop them edges. So today we are naming five subtle signs that you might still be addicted to Hustle. And we're going to talk about how to actually break the cycle and build success that don't cost you your soul, baby. You ready? All right, let's dive into it. The subtle signs that you're addicted to Hustle. Number one. You feel weird when you're not doing something.
[00:09:27] You can barely sit still, still, right? And we talked about this a couple weeks ago. But that stillness feels really unsafe. The silence makes you antsy, and you equate automatically, subconsciously in your brain peace with laziness. Sign number two. Now this one, I know I'm all up in your business with this one, but you secretly judge people who actually rest. You be over there mad. You be mad because they resting and you tired at speaking. Especially when they rest without an explanation, when they do not apologize for it. Deep down, you mad that they feeling safe enough to do what you wish you could do. Oh, I know I'm in your business now, girl. I know I am. And no, I'm not about to get out your business because you need to hear it. Bookie number three. You always stack tasks, right? Listening to a podcast while cleaning, replying to DMs while cooking. Multitasking feels like survival, but it's really a trauma reflex. That's the episode for another day, girl. I hold you. That's an episode for another day. Sign number four. You do not celebrate your wins. You just keep moving a goalpost over and over and over and over. Accomplishment is a fleeting thing for you because you can't pause enough to recognize all the success, success that you've actually had and everything that you've been doing. What's next is your instant reflex instead of pausing for the reward. And the fifth sign, honey. The fifth sign. The fifth sign.
[00:11:09] The fifth sign. You don't know who you are without a to do list. Your identity is heavily tied to your productivity. If you're not useful, you feel invisible, girl. And that's a lie. Let's talk about why this actually happens. Hustle is not just a behavior, honey. It's a belief system. Let me break it down, love. This did not start with your job. This didn't even start with your planner. And I should know, because I was in high school when they put that little planner in my hand. And I ain't gave it up since. Okay?
[00:11:45] This actually started with what you learned to believe about love, safety, and worth. Hi, Keeble. You were raised on hustle praise. I want to take us back for a second. From a young age, you are applauded for being the responsible one, the strong one, the go getter. You finished your homework early.
[00:12:08] You helped everybody. Woo.
[00:12:11] You stayed late, and you cleaned up after the party. Woo.
[00:12:15] Hustle praise. Hustle praise. Hustle praise. And what did people say? Oh, you such a little exalt. Look at her being grown. Hey, little mama. Wow. You are always so helpful. You know what? That girl, she gonna be a boss one day, right? You learned that your achievements get applause. That being productive earns love. And that slowing down is only something that you do when the work is done. If the work is ever done. But here's the thing they never told you. There's a difference between being responsible and being recruited into survival mode. There's a difference between being mature and not being allowed to be a child. There's a difference between working hard and learning that rest makes you feel unsafe. Survival mode taught you, be useful to be loved, be productive, to be safe. And this shows up in therapy rooms all the time, Especially in my therapy rooms. As a crisis and trauma therapist who sees ambitious women caught up in these hustle cycles. Women who can't sit still without feeling like they're wasting time. Moms who clean up instead of taking a nap even though they're absolutely exhausted. High performers who don't feel normal. Normal unless they're in a crisis. And it's not because you're bad at resting. It's because they never learned to feel safe in softness. Let me ask you this. If you didn't perform, produce, or prove anything this week, would you still feel valuable? If nobody clapped? If nobody needed you? If your inbox was quiet and the to do list was blank and nobody was watching, Would you still believe that you're enough? Most ambitious women are running on inherited hustle and calling it purpose. Your mama, baby girl, she probably wore burnout like a badge of honor. Your grandma probably called exhaustion strength. Your first boss probably rewarded you for overworking. And now you out here chasing alignment but you're running according to someone else's rhythm. Oh, oh, I know, I know. You don't believe me. You need some data. You need some stats to make it real. Okay, I got you. According to 2022 Deloitte report, 53% of women in leadership roles said that they feel burned out regularly. But 63% of them said that they don't feel comfortable asking for support at work. Why? Because the culture of hustle has been normalized. Because proving is safer than pausing. And let's be real, many of us didn't just inherit James from our family. Honey, we inherited their exhaustion, their emotional suppression, their push through. Even when your soul is begging you to stop. I'm not gonna hold you, baby. This part is gonna sting a little bit. Some of us have never felt more alive than when we are overextending ourselves. You feel seen when people say, girl, I don't know how you do it all. And you feel validated when people are like, okay, she always grinding go off boss girly. Praise the praise, the praise, the praise. The problem with the praise is that it's feeding the part of you that thinks that you have to earn rest. And baby, that is a lie from the pit of hell. Honey, what if your worth isn't tied to how much you give? What if your calling doesn't actually require you to collapse? What if you could relearn your rhythms so that your ambition finally felt aligned and peaceful? And what if this isn't your fault and a moment for blaming, but actually an invitation? How would that feel? Let's talk about how to break free the truth. Hustle ain't holy, baby. It's just familiar. And it's time to build a rhythm that aligns with your actual energy, not the world's expectations. And I want to give you three ways that you can start that today. Number one, there's the power pause. You pick one part of your day to do nothing. Set a timer for five to 15 minutes so that you can fully immerse yourself in that moment. That's your sela, that's your pause. Anchor in it daily. Number two, audit your stacking. You know, multitask. Audit it, baby. Audit it. Okay, catch when you are in multitasking mode and ask, what am I trying to prove right now? Is it necessary for me to stack this up? Number three, I'm going to invite you to use the Flourish formula. It is my self guided toolkit designed to help you set sacred boundaries, audit your habits, create rhythms that honor your energy for real. This time. So this is your shift. This week's soft power move. I want you to choose just one small rhythm. One of the things that we set up there to nourish your energy and commit to it for three days. Just one thing. Post it somewhere that you can see it. Set an alarm on your phone. Let it be your selah reminder. Let it be small. Let it be sacred. And in honor of your fresh start and today's breakthrough bookie, I want to offer you the Flourish formula toolkit for 50% off off for the next 24 hours that this episode goes live. If you are ready to build boundaries and rhythms that work in conjunction with your real life and your energy, this toolkit is where we start. You're going to tap the link in the show notes or go to learn.themillon collective forward/tfft. Don't forget the sale ends in 24 hours. You will want to grab it now and if you enjoyed this episode or you just want to show me some love. Screenshot the episode bookie and tag me on Instagram at hustlerehab with your favorite aha moment from today's segment. Welcome to the Brag Bar. The Brag Bar. The Brag Bar. Ay ay ay ay. We don't celebrate the things that happen in our lives and the things that we do quite enough. So inside of the free Abundant Life Society inner circle, I created a post that is the Brag Bar. You pull up to the Brag Bar and you talk to us about what's been going on in your life and this week. Boo. Let me tell you who pulled up to the Brag Bar like a whole heeled queen. It's my homegirl, Romy. Okay, Romy attended Showing Up Softly workshop in March and shared some vulnerability around how she was showing up in different spaces. And baby girl, pull up to the Brag bar not even 60 days later to talk about how much of an impact that workshop had on her and how she is now showing up softly and feeling empowered in the process. Girl, you want to meet me at the Brag Bar? Pop into the Abundant Life Society. A hybrid, virtual and in person shame free community for ambitious women doing life together. We just did the Blush brunch last week, so by the time you watch this, it'll be two weeks ago. I'm going to pop the image somewhere up here, but I would love to have you inside of the Abundant Life Society if you enjoyed today's episode. Share the love. Share with your mama. Share with your auntie. Share with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple Podcast and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you this week. I'll see you on these social media streets. Bye.
