Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:03] Speaker B: You're listening to the Poised Powerhouse Podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood, and I'm obsessed with empowering women like you with practical life strategies to live authentically without compromising your wellness. I used to be caught up in the hustle hard mentality until I learned that my quirky little traits I thought weren't that important actually turned out to be the secret boss I needed to step boldly into my purpose and create impact not only in my life, but so many amazing women around me. Organizing your schedule, launching impactful programs, redefining leadership without code switching or compromise, and stepping boldly into your God given assignment are all topics we'll discuss here. Think of this podcast as that Sunday brunch with your girls that feels so therapeutic, you can't wait to get to it. But let's clarify, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. All right, grab your notebook and your coffee or your tea. We don't discriminate over here. And let's start the show.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Hi. Welcome back to another episode of the Poise Powerhouse Podcast. My name is Dr. Sita Hood, vision architect, licensed therapist and executive leadership consultant. Girl, what's in your mug today? What's in your mug? If you are out here in Illinois or even a cold state, it is probably really refreshing to feel like the sunlight coming back and the weather getting warmer, which makes me so excited. So, as you can see, I'm happy today and we're feeling emotionally regulated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And I'm not even gonna hold you. I'm gonna try my best to say the drink. I think we did this before, though the solely, it's a seasonal drink from Nespresso. Of course, all the ice is melted because, you know, work. I've been working. I talk for a living. I'm a whole therapist. Okay, but what's in your mug? Tell me. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Listen up, listen up. I know people get excited because, you know, we pull out our calendars in the springtime. Everybody want to go to brunch. You trying to go to dinner. You want to be out all day, Daylight savings day hit. So you out here thinking you grown and stuff, and maybe you might be struggling to manage your schedule a bit. If you've ever felt like you need just one more planner, one more habit tracker, one. One more self discipline pep talk away from finally getting your life together.
Girl, this episode is for you. Okay?
Let's be real. Okay? How many times have you blamed yourself for falling off of your routines? Or maybe you Felt like if you just had a little bit more willpower, you could finally stay consistent.
Child, let me just tell you, we about to flip that belief right on its head. Okay, stay tuned. Today we are deep diving head first into why willpower alone will not save you and why your habits have not been sticking. The real reason that you keep falling off of your routines and how to filter what actually matters.
Hey, hey.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: Aren't you tired of running around like a chicken with your head cut off? How many times have you promised to do better with your wellness routines only to let life get on top of you again? I want to invite you to Pause and Pour by downloading my app, the Lavish Haven, your sanctuary for cultivating daily wellness. It's completely free to use. You'll start with our Pause and Pour quiz and then access our signature daily and weekly wellness trackers, mood playlists, elevated emotions collections, scripture based guided audios, and so much more. Hit the link below to start start today.
[00:04:24] Speaker A: Okay? Boo. Struggling to stay consistent is not about lacking discipline. It's actually about needing a system that actually fits into your life. I tell women all the time when I hear, oh, I'm just being lazy. Oh, I know I need to get my lazy butt on. Child, you're not lazy. You're not lazy. It's other factors. And then when you try to explain those other factors to certain people, they feel like, oh, that's just an excuse, excuse, and you've been fed the lie that it's just an excuse. So then you start to feel like it's just an excuse and then you lazy and then you down the rabbit hole and now you overthinking and it's just a whole mess. Let's talk about the willpower trap. What it is, why it matters. The willpower trap is an exhausting cycle of trying to power through your goals on sheer motivation alone, only to crash and blame yourself when things don't actually stick. It's a trap, Boo. It is a straight up trap. It's not a personal failure. And I know what it feels like to think that you failed in an area. It's not a personal failure. So you could Chin up, buttercup. You gonna be okay. Willpower fades. Life happens. It's totally normal. Without a system that supports you, you're going to always feel like you're stuck starting over. It's not your fault. Here are some signs that you might be caught in a willpower trap. You start strong, but you always fall off after a few weeks. You think that if you had just more Motivation, Like a little bit more motivation. Then you would finally get it together. You set goals that feel really good in theory, but low key, they are unrealistic goals because. Because they don't actually work with your life. You blame yourself for not sticking to routines that honestly were never designed for you. This is why so many of the programs and things that I teach people about are customizable. Because you cannot build a life based on what. Oh, I was about to say a different name based on what. Let's just call her Samantha over on YouTube with the aesthetically pleasant, pleasing life. You can't build it based on Samantha's life. Why? Because Samantha doesn't have kids. And Samantha's maybe not as ambitious as you. And most importantly, Samantha's vision is not your vision. Okay, so what works for Samantha's 5am routine is not going to actually work for you. Okay? Can we just like, be real about that? And if you're not in your head, trust me, you are not alone. Let's shift this thing so we can keep it pushing, okay? Let's talk about why willpower alone is not going to save you. Willpower is like a battery, boo. Eventually it's going to run out, okay? Because life is going to happen. And that's why you start Monday feeling really, really strong. And you feel off track by Friday. What you need is not actually more discipline. You need a system that supports you when your motivation fades. Because your motivation will fade. If you've never watched A Day in the Life over on my Instagram, I do that every Tuesday. And I was talking on the last day in the life because somebody was like, oh, it seems like what you do is actually impossible for me to do because you don't went to the gym, you don't cook, you don't see clients. You done. And I just, I have just worked and just worked. Like, girl, working is a lot. Working is enough, right? But why can I do all those things? It's not willpower, it's not motivation. Because I don't be wanting to do the workouts. You know, I don't, I don't necessarily want to do those things. Every day is my systems. It's the systems that support me so that I stay consistent. So I want to talk to you about what to ask and why these questions matter. These are some questions to help you shift from relying on willpower, which again is very temporary, to building a system that supports you and your growth long term. Here's the first question. Am I relying on motivation or do I actually Have a structure that supports me when I don't feel like it. Girl, motivation is unreliable, okay? She here one day, and then the next, you can't even find her. You'd be like, motivator, where you at? Are you? You trying to call her? She goes to you, she ain't picking up the phone. It's completely unreliable. That's why you need a strong system that ensures you continue to make progress even when your motivation dips. The next question. Do my routines work when life gets busy or do they fall apart? If your routine only works in perfect conditions, it don't work. It don't. It don't work. It's not sustainable. That's the nice way to say it. You need rhythms that adapt to what's happening in your life, okay? But the truth is, if it doesn't work when you're busy, it don't work, period. Okay? It means that you have unrealistic expectations for how this would actually work. Like, it's great to have a goal to build up to, but if that's not where you are, if your life doesn't actually support that, you will consistently not be able to maintain it and probably start to feel like a failure. And you're not a failure, babe. You're not. That's the last thing, okay? You're not. Am I setting myself up to succeed, or am I making it harder for myself? This question forces you to evaluate whether your approach is actually realistic or if you are unknowingly self sabotaging. I have this theory that ambitious women have a couple of, like, cuss words, and they only cuss words to us because it's like, oh, I don't want to. Oh, I don't like that. It's low key, offensive, like. And one of those words is surrender, because it's like, I don't want to do that.
[00:10:51] Speaker B: No.
[00:10:51] Speaker A: Why? Because you got the illusion that you control everything. Whole time. You don't. Okay, I'm g. To get out your business. I'm getting out your business, girl. I'm getting out your business. But the other cuss word is self sabotage, because nobody wants to be real about the fact that that's actually happening. Sometimes. Sometimes you've done all the things that you're supposed to do. You are just unknowingly self sabotaging.
That's the plain and simple truth. So let's talk about the real reason why you keep falling off of your routines. It's not you, it's the approach. Most routines are built on ideal circumstances, but life is anything but ideal. Your system needs to work in real life. Not just on a perfect day when everything is flowing smoothly, when your kids got enough sleep, when your boss is not in a bad mood mood, when you know you're not getting into it with nobody, when your cousin ain't calling you for a last minute ride somewhere. Like, you have to factor all of that in. So I want you to think about this. If your success depends on everything going exactly right, waking up at 5am drinking a perfect green smoothie, journaling, meditating, praying, and squeezing in a workout before your first email, girl, you're setting yourself up to fail the moment life throws you a curveball. And we keep it a Honda over here on this podcast. So, like, life is always throwing curveballs, right? So instead of relying on rigid routines, you need flexible rhythms that can adapt when things start to shift. Your system has to work on your best days and your busiest days. So for example, the 5am morning routine. Girl, that sound real good. But does it work when your kid is sick? Does it work when your schedule shifts? Does it work when you just want to sleep in? Like when your body is just saying I need extra sleep? If not, it's not a system, it's a setup for burnout. Here's a better approach because you know I'm not just going to leave you high and dry, right? Build routines that account for real life unpredictability, have a backup plan for when things don't go as expected, and focus on consistency over perfection. Okay, consistency over perfection, backup plans, flexibility in your schedule, all of that. Instead of I just need to be more disciplined, try, I need a system that works for real life, not for my fantasy life. I want to introduce you to the Flourish Formula and I want to give you a sneak peek into your actual breakthrough. Because as we've been talking about on this podcast, the key to success is not doing everything. It's doing what actually moves the needle forward to generate momentum. And the Flourish Formula toolkit is my step by step system. Remember, I'm not teaching you to do what I'm doing. It's a step by step system for you to take and adapt and make it your own, designed to help you finally create sustainable success rhythms without burnout. And it's your system. It is created to help you adapt it to your life, your season, your energy. I want to give you a quick win today. Here's a powerful shift that you can start using if you are constantly juggling tasks, but you never feel like you are accomplishing anything. I Want you to do this. Instead of making a to do list or a box to check things off or a rigid plan, I want you to create a results list. Okay? Write down three things that will make today feel successful, not just busy. If you had to look at your day at the end of the day, what would make it? What would make you say, man, this day was successful, Girl, you did that right. Because likely it could potentially be tied to your to do list, but it could also not. Success could be like, oh, me and my mama finally talked, you know, or there's so many other things that can define success, but this small tweak shifts you from endless tasks to intentional impact. What do you define success as? In your relationships, in your finances, in your mental health? What does it look like? And if you know that you are 100% ready to stop playing trial and error with your time, the Flourish formula toolkit girl is going to give you the full roadmap. Because success should feel good. And it doesn't have to feel like a never ending struggle. You can grab it for yourself using the link in the show notes, and you can start moving from burnout to balance today. Boo. All right, babe. I want you to imagine waking up feeling energized instead of behind. I want you to imagine creating success that doesn't require exhaustion. That's the shift that we're making today. That's the shift that you get when you stop expecting willpower alone to be the thing that helps you accomplish goals. Instead of asking, how can I do more? I want you to ask yourself, how can I do what matters most? These are the things that are going to help you define success on your terms so you can answer that question. To create a results list. Once you've defined what success looks like for you, it's. It's going to make it so much more impactful how you move the needle forward. For example, you've been filling your calendar with every meeting, task and obligation. Okay? Instead you ask, what are the top three things that will actually help me generate momentum today? As suddenly your to do list goes from this massive 15 checkbox list to maybe four things, four things with a huge amount of impact. So your impact grows and that momentum starts to build. What are the things that push it forward, that push the needle forward? Not just busy tasks, not just self sabotaging tasks, okay? Instead of pushing harder, learn to move smarter, aligned with your values, your energy, and your season. For example, you've been grinding late nights, right? I know you. I know you have. I know you have you've been grinding late at night believing that more hours equal more success. Instead, start working in focused energy aligned blocks. And if you haven't seen time blocking hacks, the six Time Blocking Hacks episode, you need to go and watch that because that will give you more information on energy based scheduling. But if you start to work in focused energy aligned blocks, you will realize that you get more done in less time with less stress because you're working according to your own personal energy and your own personal capacity. Look at how long it takes you to accomplish something that you don't want to do. That you have to force yourself to do is like pulling teeth versus doing things that you have the energy for. Like ticking it off first thing in the morning and then it's done, it's over with. You don't have to worry about it. Instead of trying to think, fix yourself. Recognize that you are already enough, girl. You are already enough. You just need a system that works for you. So, for example, you keep trying to force yourself into these rigid routines that Samantha's doing over on her Instagram and YouTube that are aesthetically pleasing things, right? But the truth is, Samantha's routines are aren't built for your life. And that's okay, because Samantha's having a very surface, level approach and you have a desire to generate deeper impact. So instead of trying to go with Samantha's rigid routines, you create flexible rhythms that allow for life's unpredictability while still keeping you on track. We're generating momentum and we care about consistency over perfection. Okay, here's your action step. Take five minutes today to audit your schedule. Ask yourself, am I busy or am I impactful? Adjust one thing that shifts from being busy to something more meaningful.
[00:19:54] Speaker B: You know those little things that just nourish your heart, mind and soul? Those little, little gems dropped in your week that make all the difference in your day but are seemingly unimportant. Like the person who went out of their way to do something nice for you, or that amazing sermon on YouTube that just hit exactly like you needed it to. Well, I'm sharing my weekly nourishment with you. And if there's something that nourished you this week, I'd love to hear about it. By tagging me on Instagram @drcahood or dropping a comment underneath this episode.
[00:20:30] Speaker A: Here we go.
Welcome back for another weekly nourishment. This week I was poured into by my clients. Like, I really, really enjoy the work that I do. I'm super passionate about it. And if you don't know. Now you know.
Okay. I could have really went into a whole song right there. My editor, Tiara, she will tell you I'll be cutting up on this footage before she get to it, because one day I might release the bloopers. I don't know. One day. But what nourished me was actually providing a safe space for my clients. And it's just a privilege. It's a privilege to be able to be in that room with them and to see the things that they go through and how powerful they come out like it's lit. And like I told one of my clients this week, girl, just call me a gas station, because I'm here to fill you up. I'm definitely gonna give you all the gas, period poo. All gas, no breaks. Why? Because we have negative inner critics and negative intrusive thoughts that we carry throughout our entire week, day to day, all the time. It's too much. It's too much. Who got time for that? Girl, no. So consider me a gas station, because I'm always going to put my foot to when the gas and gas you up. Boo. All right, love. So today we talked about why willpower alone will not save you, how to reset your routines and how to build success rhythms that actually work for you, not Samantha. Okay, action step. I want you to perform a scheduling audit and DM me to tell me more on Instagram @ Dr. Cedar Hood. And then if you know you are wholeheartedly committed to making success shift from burnout to actually flourishing in spite of everything else happening, I want you to grab the Flourish formula toolkit. And I have left the link for that in the show notes below. Okay, girl. And you already know what I'm about to say. If you enjoyed today's episode, share the love. Share with your mama. Share with your auntie. Share with your best friend. You know she eat this episode. Then I want you to head on over to Apple Podcasts and leave us a five star review. Reviews help the podcast to grow. Well, that's all I have for you this week. I'll see you out on these social media streets. Bye.
